As a child of the 80s, I still think of music as a tangible, physical product. It makes me uneasy to purchase an album from iTunes, which is admittedly ridiculous because the first thing I do when I buy a new CD is dump it into iTunes and then shelve it. Still, there's a sense of calming security I get from knowing that the CD is sitting there on the shelf if I should ever need it. I'm also a sucker for good packaging. These are things you miss out on when you buy digital versions of albums.I've purchased an unusual number of CDs in the last month or so. My average CD acquisition rate (CDAR, to you) is probably something like 10-12 albums per year. However, due to a rare convergence of releases by some of my favorite artists this spring, I've been on a music buying spree. I've noticed with these purchases that the approaches that these artists and labels take to packaging their CDs vary wildly. Because of this, I've compiled a list of the Seven Cardinal Sins of CD Packaging. These will be listed from the least offensive to the most offensive.
#7: Hidden Tracks That Aren't Separate Tracks
If you're a band and want to get cute by including a hidden track, that's fine. But PLEASE make it a separate track. If you're programming some songs on the CD player or making a compilation CD, that track must be avoided completely, because nobody wants a song to end with a minute and a half of silence before including a random hidden track.
#6: No Artist or CD Title on the Actual CD
When you're carrying your CDs in a giant CD wallet, it's nice to know at a glance what CD it is you're looking for. A surprising number of CDs have only some pseudo-impressive design or photo on them.
#5: No Numbers Next to the Song Titles
Look, I'm perfectly capable of counting to 15, but when I'm standing in front of the stereo programming some tunes, I don't want to have to use my finger to count through a list of tracks because I'm unable to eyeball it. Is that track 9 or 10? Just NUMBER THEM.
#4: No Punctuation, Formatting, or Capitalization in the Lyrics
I appreciate the inclusion of lyrics, and I'm sympathetic to the desire to save space, but lyrics that are dumped out in a shapeless paragraph with no sentences or capitalization are really hard to read. Especially when you're driving. Not that I would do that. Very often.
(lesser but related sin: lyrics that are meant to look "hand written")
#3: CD Jackets That are Folded Rather Than Booklet Style
Thankfully this is a rare occurrence, but I have at least a couple of CDs that have jackets that must be unfolded like a map if you'd like to read the lyrics. This is inconvenient and really conspicuous when driving. Not that I would do that. It's just unsafe.
#2: CD Covers That Don't Have Track Listings
What do these bands have against fans knowing what their songs are called? Wouldn't they want a potential CD buyer in a store to know what's on the album? Fortunately, like sin #3, this is rare. Make no mistake, though, it does happen. Just take a look at the back of your copy of Stone Temple Pilots' "Purple" album.
#1: No Lyrics
After all of the time and effort it takes to write an entire album's lyrics, don't they want us to know what they are? This sin is unforgivable. It's an extra slap in the face when the CD includes a very elaborate full-color jacket, filled with photos and 3 pages of 'thank yous'...and not a single lyric.
There you have it. The definitive list of what not to do when producing a CD. Did I miss any?
4 comments:
J'agree, mon ami!
Geez, Crabarella, it's Friday. Lighten up:
#7: Hidden tracks are our generation's version of playing an LP backwards to find out how much Satan rocks (like we don't already know). When we have no choice but to download everything, you'll be thankful for fun gimmicks.
#6: Album art is dead. The best we can hope for is some extra art on the CD. A Gothic looking CD is depressing, a colorful one is happy. If you have too many of either, diversify.
#5: The first 4 or 5 tracks are the only ones you're going to listen to anyway. Maybe one more, but that's likely to be the last or second to last one. If not, just sing 'The ladybugs twelve at the ladybug's picnic.'
#4: The only reason you need lyrics is so you can sing at the top of your lungs while you're alone in the car. If you need commas, you're a retard.
#3: Stop reading and driving. Seriously. and if it's folded, they don't have much to say. It's just a bunch of pictures of the random crap they didn't print on the CD (see #6).
#2: They're not numbered or they're not named. Just name them whatever you think they're should be named. For example, Zeppelin.
#1: Unforgivable sin? Really? Make up the lyrics ala #2. Or look them up online. They'll be posted by JrHighGrl12 a few minutes after it comes out.
I'm definitely with you the hidden tracks that are not their own separate track. I hate the damn 14 minute last track on CDs when they do that.
Ultimately, I really have no problem downloading from iTunes or wherever although with my most beloved artists, I usually still buy the physical CD.
The one that I would add to this list is the "every song on the CD is blended together into one long track" Prince's Lovesexy album is like this and I refuse to buy it because of that. I was concerned that Confessions on a Dance Floor would be like that, but even though it is one continuous mix, there are 12 distinct tracks. Which made me happy.
Crabarella? I left that name behind along with my life as a male escort.
Post a Comment