In Defense of Spongebob

My workplace has an electronic bulletin board of sorts where the employees can discuss various topics. Recently, someone posted anonymously in the "Parenting" area about Spongebob. She said, in part:

Neither my husband nor I are fans of Spongebob. We have watched a very few Spongebob shows and don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old. We also just limit the amount of TV for our children as well - usually no more than 1/2 hour per day. We tend to watch shows such as Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Club House, Little Bear, Franklin, and My Friends Tigger and Pooh. They also watch John & Kate Plus 8, Animal Planet channel, etc. We find that the shows I've mentioned here each teach some good lessons and our children just flat out like the shows.

Are there others in agreement here? If so, why? If not, can you speak to what values you feel Spongebob does provide?

I'm a big Spongebob fan, and my kid's love it. There was something about this post...I think it was the "...don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old" line, that reminded me of the scene in Uncle Buck where the principal of Buck's niece's elementary school accuses his niece of being a "silly heart".

I submitted the following defense:

Spongebob may be a little old for a 4 year old, but I will vehemently defend Spongebob as a great and fun show.

My two kids have, at one time or another, watched most of the shows that were listed below (Backyardigans, Franklin, etc…) and they are all good shows. However, children’s programming today is so saturated with “lessons” and educational aspects that most of the plain old fun has been squeezed out. When I was a kid, there was a more obvious split: Sesame Street was educational, Bugs Bunny was goofy.

There’s not a single children’s show that I’ve seen in the last 8 years that is as silly and funny as Spongebob. And while I think that “playing nicely together” and “respecting your elders” are valuable lessons to learn, I also think that humor is a priceless gift.

Spongebob as a character is also a great role model in his own ridiculous way. He is an eternal optimist and believes that every day has the chance to be “the best day ever!”. He is undyingly loyal to his friends, and is extremely conscientious about all things in his life, especially his job. The show glorifies friendship and lampoons greed. It’s a sweet and good natured show that is legitimately funny.

Long live Spongebob and in the words of Uncle Buck, "I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a silly heart."

Toy Malpractice

Quick question for the folks out there. Has there ever been a toy walkie-talkie set that has ever worked in the history of humanity?

Strong Words!

Jeffrey Wells is a very entertaining film blogger who I've quoted here before. He is a lot of things, but never tentative.

Here's his latest statement on the "Mummy" movies starring Brendan Fraser:

"I really and truly consider all three Mummy movies (the first two directed by Stephen Sommers, who produced the current installment) a blight upon our souls. It is industrial-strength pollution in the American cultural river. Giving a pass to these movies is like blowing a kiss to the devil himself."

37 Nuggets of Knowledge About Matt

Despite the fact that these long lists of questions usually strike me as a bit...well...masturbatory, Dan did call me out. Honor demands that I answer these questions!

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Like Dan, I'm not entirely sure that I've ever eaten blue cheese...at least knowingly. I have to be Switzerland on this one.

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yes. That's yes as in, "Yes, I've smoked a cigarette and/or cigar before." but not "yes, I've been a smoker."

3. Do you own a gun?
No actual firearms. But man, I miss my tracer gun. That was one of the best toys ever. Also, I used to have a battery-powered squirt gun that looked like a real machine gun. That was back in the good old days when toy guns weren't all neon orange.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
I have no clue. Probably black cherry. At least, that's the only flavor I can actually remember drinking. Favorite by default.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on what I'm there for. I'm a bit of a wimp about shots and/or getting blood drawn. I don't get dizzy or the shakes or anything, but I hate the anticipation. It's the long, ridiculous, drawn-out nature of the thing. They sloooowly put on the rubber gloves. They carefully knead your arm to expose a good vein. Then they methodically swab your arm with alcohol. All the while, you're painfully aware that these are just the steps that must be taken before you are stabbed. I'd much rather they jump you from behind the door the second you walk in and take the blood by surprise.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I'm pro hot dog.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Scrooged, I'd say.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Life, man. Life. Too douchebaggy? Ok, Water.

9. Can you do push ups?
Sure.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The only jewelry I possess is my wedding ring.

11. Favorite hobby?
Currently, I'd say Guitar Hero. I have many hobbies, but they tend to fade after a short, intense run. So far, Guitar Hero has lasted about a year and a half.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
Probably not technically...but my attention is very divided normally.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
I do not.

14. Middle name?
John.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I'm vaguely irritated that my girls are still awake, because they have had an exhausting day (we are on vacation at King's Pointe waterpark) and should be passed out. I realized today that I'm really hard on first time novelists...I read their books with a frown and they have to REALLY blow me away. I finished watching "The Abyss" on my iPod last night while my wife and girls were asleep...and was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Much better than I remember.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water, Lemonade, Orange Juice (I'll drink OJ with anything. Spaghetti, pizza, you name it).

17. Current worry?
Fear/xenophobia/racism/cynicism will prove powerful enough to overcome Obama's candidacy.

18. Current hate right now?
Mayflies.

19. Favorite place to be?
That's a tough one...I tend to like really ridiculous fake touristy places like Universal Studios.

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
I honestly can't remember...and not because I was drunk. Exciting, I know.

21. Where would you like to go?
Maine, Seattle, Portland, San Diego...

22. Name three people who will complete this?
Wow...I don't even have 3 blogger friends!

23. Do you own slippers?
No.

24. What shirt are you wearing?
Right now I'm wearing a Maynard Ferguson shirt, spreading the word!

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I'm not sure I ever have. It doesn't sound appealing to me, though.

26. Can you whistle?
Like a champ.

27. Favorite color?
Blue.

28. Would you be a pirate?
Probably not.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I usually have talk radio on in the morning, so I guess whatever jingle is on the radio. "...everybody knows it's Lebeda".

30. Favorite Girl's Name?
Mattilda

31. Favorite boy's name?
Matthew

32. What's in your pocket right now?
Not a damn thing.

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
My kids being ridiculous today.

34. What vehicle do you drive?
A gold Toyota Corolla.

35. Worst injury you've ever had?
In the first grade (on May Day, no less), I was hit in the face (accidentally) with a golf club by the neighbor girl. 28 stitches were required to close up my chin.

36. Do you love where you live?
Not even a little bit.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Four.

Hero or Arch Nemesis?

As you all know, I am a bit of a Guitar Hero nut. My master plan is to eventually support myself with Guitar Hero winnings, as I travel the countryside from tourney to tourney.

Blake Peebles, a 16 year old from Raleigh, is either living my dream or is an obstacle in my path.

His parents have agreed to let him drop out of school (they are home schooling him now) so that he can concentrate more deeply on Guitar Hero.

This is not good.

Not only does he probably have faster reflexes (he is, after all 17 years younger than me), but he now has much more time to devote to his regime. My super awesome talent can only take me so far.

Hatred Lives

As a Unitarian Universalist, I was horrified to hear about a man walking into a UU church in Tennessee yesterday and opening fire with a shotgun. I first heard the news from a fellow UUer, whose mother attends that congregation and was there at the time (she was not hurt).

Anne and I were discussing it last night, and she mentioned that it had crossed her mind before that the church (as in, the UU church as an institution) could be a magnet for someone who is unstable and looking to cause some trouble. I kind of brushed it off, thinking that there must have been some other motivation.

Today the AP confirmed that the liberal views of the Unitarian Universalists were indeed the target of this man. According to the article, "An unemployed man accused of opening fire with a shotgun and killing two people at a Unitarian church apparently targeted the congregation out of hatred for its liberal social policies, police said Monday." Also, "It appears that what brought him to this horrible event was his lack of being able to obtain a job, his frustration over that and his stated hatred of the liberal movement."

This is obviously very disturbing to hear that your views are so offensive to some people that they are willing to commit murder over them, but I'm more angry than distraught. The AP article has this to say about UU: "Unitarians have roots in a movement that rejected Puritan orthodoxy in New England. Although the outlook and beliefs of individual Unitarian churches can vary dramatically, most congregations retain a deep commitment to social justice, which has led them to embrace liberal positions over the years. Unitarians were among the first to ordain women, support the civil rights movement and back gay rights."

Yes, we're clearly on the wrong side of history here.

Why should I worry about gunmen in my church, while churches who proudly advertise their "homosexuality treatment camps" walk around with heads held high? How are our views somehow more offensive than churches who picket funerals of gay soldiers with signs that read "God Hates Fags!!!" or churches that work to Christianize the science that we teach our children, thus making us less competitive in the global market?

Today I'm frustrated, and my thoughts are with those Tennessee UUers.

Late Update: Here's a post from someone who can actually write on this issue. (Thanks to Dan for this link)

Growing Up

I'm normally a bit uncomfortable with these sentimental posts, and this one smells strongly of P.J. of Family Circus fame...but here goes.

Lately I've been really aware that my youngest, Melanie, will be slipping out of "little girl" mode any day now. She's six years old, and doesn't have much time left before she starts pronouncing words correctly. Today, I heard her say two things that reminded me that she still is that little girl, and it depressed me to realize that I'm on borrowed time here.

She still pronounces "animal" like "aminal"...and today, after some rigorous exercise, she told me that she could feel her heart "beeping" really fast. I'm going to hate it when she gets those two things right.