Gross Generalization, Number 86

My favorite entertainment blogger, Jeffrey Wells, has made another one of his gross generalizations. They never fail to crack me up.

This one is about the nature of conservatives versus liberals:

People who laugh like Daffy Duck and strut around with colorful body language and...you know, go "whoo-hoo!" and put lampshades on their heads are, I believe, blowing off steam because they lead strict, buttoned-down lifestyles and perhaps -- who knows? -- have guarded, buttoned-down philosophies.

Righties are like that -- golly-gee and lots of laughter and rib-poking on the outside and yet sort of dark and creepy underneath. Lefties are a little bit looser, cooler and more measured.

Love it. Kind of ridiculous...but there's a grain of truth in there.

The More You Know

This episode of The More You Know is entitled: "How to make your young girls yell 'Daddy' in perfect synchronization and harmony". I have two young daughters, only 18 months apart, and lately I've stumbled upon a few ways to compel them to reflexively shout out "Daddy" in perfect time. For the benefit of others who may yearn for this skill, I'm sharing my secrets with the world. Before we begin, there is one prerequisite. First, you much purchase a small and cute puppy, such as ours, pictured below.


The list:

1. Refer to your dog as "Stinkweasel". Example, "Why are you so smelly, Stinkweasel?" DADDY!!!!
2. Imply that your dog is stupid. Example, "Why is the stupid dog eating a Kleenex?" DADDY!!!
3. Yell for the dog to come. The dog actually is a stupid stinkweasel, so she will not come on the first attempt. Yell again for her to come. She will only simultaneously stare blankly at you and something in the distance, because her stupid stinkweasel eyes look in two different directions. Yell one last time. She will, of course, ignore you. Walk towards the dog, proclaiming your intention to "beat her to death." DADDY!!!!
   

This has been The More You Know.

Fun With Charts

It is not my intention to turn this blog into an endless collection of youtube clips, but everyone should watch this clip of Demetri Martin. I think he's the Steven Wright of our generation.

And remember: culture is attracted to squigglies.

Baracky II

So great.

In Defense of Spongebob

My workplace has an electronic bulletin board of sorts where the employees can discuss various topics. Recently, someone posted anonymously in the "Parenting" area about Spongebob. She said, in part:

Neither my husband nor I are fans of Spongebob. We have watched a very few Spongebob shows and don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old. We also just limit the amount of TV for our children as well - usually no more than 1/2 hour per day. We tend to watch shows such as Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Club House, Little Bear, Franklin, and My Friends Tigger and Pooh. They also watch John & Kate Plus 8, Animal Planet channel, etc. We find that the shows I've mentioned here each teach some good lessons and our children just flat out like the shows.

Are there others in agreement here? If so, why? If not, can you speak to what values you feel Spongebob does provide?

I'm a big Spongebob fan, and my kid's love it. There was something about this post...I think it was the "...don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old" line, that reminded me of the scene in Uncle Buck where the principal of Buck's niece's elementary school accuses his niece of being a "silly heart".

I submitted the following defense:

Spongebob may be a little old for a 4 year old, but I will vehemently defend Spongebob as a great and fun show.

My two kids have, at one time or another, watched most of the shows that were listed below (Backyardigans, Franklin, etc…) and they are all good shows. However, children’s programming today is so saturated with “lessons” and educational aspects that most of the plain old fun has been squeezed out. When I was a kid, there was a more obvious split: Sesame Street was educational, Bugs Bunny was goofy.

There’s not a single children’s show that I’ve seen in the last 8 years that is as silly and funny as Spongebob. And while I think that “playing nicely together” and “respecting your elders” are valuable lessons to learn, I also think that humor is a priceless gift.

Spongebob as a character is also a great role model in his own ridiculous way. He is an eternal optimist and believes that every day has the chance to be “the best day ever!”. He is undyingly loyal to his friends, and is extremely conscientious about all things in his life, especially his job. The show glorifies friendship and lampoons greed. It’s a sweet and good natured show that is legitimately funny.

Long live Spongebob and in the words of Uncle Buck, "I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a silly heart."

Toy Malpractice

Quick question for the folks out there. Has there ever been a toy walkie-talkie set that has ever worked in the history of humanity?

Strong Words!

Jeffrey Wells is a very entertaining film blogger who I've quoted here before. He is a lot of things, but never tentative.

Here's his latest statement on the "Mummy" movies starring Brendan Fraser:

"I really and truly consider all three Mummy movies (the first two directed by Stephen Sommers, who produced the current installment) a blight upon our souls. It is industrial-strength pollution in the American cultural river. Giving a pass to these movies is like blowing a kiss to the devil himself."