Blue Birdland

Racial Profiling?

2008-12-08T12:17:00.002-06:00

I was driving with my girls (6 and 8) over the weekend. They were sitting in the backseat, listening to Casey's $15 MP3 player with two sets of headphones. When they share headphones like this, a pattern emerges. They tend to play 20-30 seconds of a song, tire of it, and skip to the next one. About every 10 songs or so, they land on one that they are really excited about, emit a couple of squeals, and listen to the entire song. They pepper each song with commentary, which is normally very loud because they don't understand that they are speaking loudly due to the headphones.

I had them pretty well tuned out when I heard my eight-year-old say the words, "brown skin". Intrigued, I asked what she was listening to. She was listening to the 80's classic "Oh, Yeah" by the band Yello. You will probably remember this song from Ferris Bueller. I asked her what she was saying about "brown skin". She explained: "You know the low voice that says, 'Ohhhh Yeaaaah'? Well, in my imagination, he has brown skin."

In Praise of Mirage

2008-12-04T11:32:00.004-06:00

[Warning: this post will likely be boring to anyone who does not enjoy Fleetwood Mac]

My friend Dan and I are both very passionate about music. Curiously, although we are both rabid consumers of music, we've learned that our musical spheres have only a narrow sliver of overlap. This is not a bad thing. We are both agreeable chaps and very rarely come to blows over things like this. On the contrary, we are often able to expose each other to music that we would normally not come across in our day to day explorations.

Our divergent tastes are epitomized by the band Fleetwood Mac. We are both Fleetwood Mac enthusiasts, but we view the band through entirely different lenses. I see Fleetwood Mac as a tool for Lindsey Buckingham to write and arrange excellent rock music with the help of some very talented musicians. Dan has a much more Stevie-centric view of Fleetwood Mac's contributions to the world. [side note: a recent conversation on this topic prompted Dan to wonder - Are their devoted Christine McVie die-hards out there?]

Dan recently wrote an in-depth post about Fleetwood Mac's double album "Tusk" in which he essentially surmised that he tolerates Lindsey's songs as a necessary price to pay to get some great Stevie songs [I'm exaggerating here for comic effect]. It got me thinking about Tusk from the perspective of Lindsey and Stevie fans. I would hypothesize that Tusk is probably the most difficult album to enjoy in its entirety if you are a strong Lindsey fan or a strong Stevie fan. Both Stevie's and Lindsey's songs on Tusk magnify their songwriting quirks to their extremes. Lindseys songs are extraordinarily strange and not at all commercial (which is exhilarating for a Lindsey fan...and frustrating for others). Stevie's songs can't seem to produce a melody shorter than 30 bars (again...great for Stevie fans, frustrating for others). Tusk was an album in which the two dominant personalities of Fleetwood Mac were speaking directly to their solo fans...and not so much towards the general Fleetwood Mac fans who loved Rumours.

Today I've been listening closely to Tusk's follow-up, Mirage. I've always thought of Mirage as an apology of sorts. Lindsey's songs are radio-friendly again. Stevie's songs are more concise. But, most importantly, the album sounds like a band recorded it, unlike Tusk, which sounds like 3 solo albums mixed together. Mirage hasn't aged as well as Rumours, thanks to a more pop-oriented production, but I will always consider Mirage to be under-rated. Sure, it had a couple of strong hits (Hold Me, Gypsy), but it was also graced with some excellent album cuts. Love in Store, Can't Go Back, That's Alright, and Eyes of the World are among my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs, and they are largely unknown to the radio-listening public. I have no broad point to this post. Just go buy Mirage.

Patriotism

2008-10-29T17:25:00.001-05:00

A reader of Andrew Sullivan's "Daily Dish" blog comments on the patriotism of the Obama campaign.

I'd like to add a thought to your post "The Winner," about the Will.I.Am video. You mentioned that it resonated because of eight long years of shame and drift and failure - and no one could disagree with that. But I would add to that reason another - one that may seem hokey to some, but one that is central to the success of this campaign: patriotism.

The McCain campaign and far right detractors have questioned the patriotism of Obama and his supporters from the very beginning, when in fact, patriotism is the very basis for his success.

Obama's campaign simply could not function without an abiding, strident belief in the American people, the American dream, the American way. With two ongoing wars and a coming economic crisis that rivals the Great Depression, what can explain this fervor, this pure optimism, if not patriotism?

Without patriotism, where is the passion, the determination, the conviction that we, in fact, can? Without patriotism, we are left with only fear and cynicism. That video resonated because millions of people (young, disadvantaged - those with more reasons for despair and cynicism than hope and optimism) believe strongly enough in what their country stands for to stand up for it.

Well put.

Clint Still Rules

2008-10-27T12:15:00.000-05:00

Brief break from politics today so that I can state that Clint Eastwood is still bad ass.

I'd go see Gran Torino just based on this poster alone:

But now the trailer has been released and I'm even more excited.

Anti-American Update - Part 2

2008-10-22T17:34:00.000-05:00

Michele Bachmann has been cut off by the RNC!

Two sources aware of ad buys in Minnesota say that the National Republican Congressional Committee is pulling its media purchases from Bachmann's race.

Ouch.

Anti-American Update

2008-10-21T18:15:00.000-05:00

Michele Bachmann, who I featured a couple of posts ago expressing her fear that Obama is "anti-American" is now trying to deny that she said what she said. Man, it's tough to deny things in the internet age.

In other Bachmann news, her appearance on Hardball a few days back has resulted in a flood of donations to her opponent.

McCain's Independent Appeal

2008-10-21T12:04:00.000-05:00

With Republicans feeling so disaffected this year and with the generic Republican brand in the sewer, McCain was the smartest choice to be their presidential nominee. Well...the McCain of a few years ago, I should say. McCain has always had a strong following among independents, and he should have been able to attract a significant amount of them in this campaign.

And then...he pivoted hard towards the base by choosing a hopelessly unqualified and extremely right-wing running mate.

How's that working out for him with independents?

Not great.

They were and are the core base of his appeal. As a "maverick" Republican, his fundamental gamble was that he could appeal to enough of them and win over enough Clinton Democrats to beat the odds this year. And yet, no group has responded more negatively to McCain these past seven weeks than independents. McCain's unfavorables among independents have soared from 24 percent to 44 percent in seven weeks. Palin has also turned them off, after a promising start. Her unfavorables among independents have jumped 14 points since she started campaigning.

Why I Can't Help But Love Chris Matthews

2008-10-19T23:10:00.003-05:00

I can't help it. I love me some Chris Matthews. Sure, he's imperfect. Sure, he's insecure. Sure, he runs off at the mouth. But his passion for politics and for this country is unrivaled. And, most importantly, his B.S. detector is finely tuned. He really cuts through the crap here as clearly nutty Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann waxes nostalgic for the quaint days of Joe McCarthy.

Powell Endorses Obama

2008-10-19T14:50:00.004-05:00

For those who missed this, Colin Powell's endorsement of Obama was surprisingly poignant and thoughtful.

My favorite quote:

I'm also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say, and it is permitted to be said. Such things as, 'Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.' Well, the correct answer is he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer is no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the association: he's a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

Wow. General Powell has earned my respect.

Ugly Times

2008-10-07T17:03:00.002-05:00

Let me start out by saying that I don't think that all Republicans are racist lunatics. Both sides of the political spectrum get nutty when you stray too far from center. However, McCain and Palin's new "All Negative, All The Time" strategy has really started to draw those fringe folks that might have had the good sense to keep to themselves earlier in the race.

Just in the last 36 hours:

At a rally, John McCain asks the crowd, "Who is the real Barack Obama?". The first and loudest responder can be heard shouting, "TERRORIST!"
The Washington Post reports that "Palin's routine attacks on the media have begun to spill into ugliness. In Clearwater, arriving reporters were greeted with shouts and taunts by the crowd of about 3,000. Palin then went on to blame Katie Couric's questions for her "less-than-successful interview with kinda mainstream media." At that, Palin supporters turned on reporters in the press area, waving thunder sticks and shouting abuse. Others hurled obscenities at a camera crew. One Palin supporter shouted a racial epithet at an African American sound man for a network and told him, 'Sit down, boy.'"
Palin whips a crowd into a frenzy, talking about Bill Ayers, former member of the Weather Underground. In the middle of her speech, one man shouts, "Kill him!"
This morning, Palin accused Obama of criticizing the troops (untrue, of course) and soon after, someone in the crowd shouts, "Treason!"

Stay classy, San Diego. Remember, this was the man who promised a respectful campaign.

Again, it's too early to tell if McCain's new last-ditch scorched Earth strategy will work or not. Keep an eye on the daily tracking polls over the next week or so. I think we'll see a tightening.

Desperate Empty Embarrassment

2008-10-06T20:25:00.001-05:00

Joe Klein, author and Time Magazine columnist continues his fascinating transformation from McCain supporter to McCain critic.

His latest entry is powerful.

As I said, I'm of two minds about this. I don't want to give currency to this sewage, so it will remain below the fold. And I'll try to devote the lion's share of my time to the issues--the war, the economic crisis, the fraying health insurance system, the environment--that should define this campaign. But what a desperate empty embarrassment the McCain campaign has become.

Negativity!

2008-10-06T16:22:00.001-05:00

The political news today is all about McCain's terrible poll position (hey, great arcade game...). With only 4 weeks left, McCain has an enormous hill to climb if he is to win this election. The number one issue with voters today is the economy, and Obama holds a significant advantage in the public's mind on this issue.

As McCain sees it, he has only one choice. Go all negative, all the time. His surrogates (and even his vice presidential candidate) have come right out and said it. They are planning to launch serious character attacks until the election.

The question is, will these Rove-style politics still work? You can hardly blame them. They worked in both 2000 and 2004. It's a little surprising to previous McCain fans, like myself. Several months back, Jon Stewart mentioned that a race between Obama and McCain would probably be "a tonic to this country". He was assuming that it would be extra civil. Of course, losing can do things to your psyche.

Lately on the stump, Palin has been saying that Obama "pals around with terrorists". Ah, that's class.

Interesting link round-up:

John "seething rage" McCain suggests that Barack "no drama" Obama gets angry and touchy when questioned on credentials or policy. This statement is outrageous for a few reasons, but primarily because Obama has been calm and unruffled throughout this entire campaign, while McCain has been perpetually ready to pop a vein. Talking Points Memo uses the Des Moines Register Editorial Board interview as evidence that McCain is the touchy one, and our very own Rekha Basu chimes in as well.
Late Update: Andrew Sullivan cuts through the hypocrisy on this issue.
Mike Murphy, a frank and honest Republican operative seen frequently on Meet The Press laments the new negative McCain turn and argues that McCain should go positive.
FiveThirtyEight.com today has a very interesting break-down of how very slight improvements in black voter participation can make a huge difference in Georgia.

Daily Tracking

2008-10-04T12:44:00.002-05:00

Not a good sign for McCain. Gallup's Daily Tracking poll (released daily around noon) indicates that Obama is holding, and maybe even increasing his lead. These numbers are significant because they are beginning to take the Biden/Palin debate into account.

The other daily tracking polls show much the same:

Hotline/Diageo: Obama 48%, McCain 41%
Rasmussen: Obama 51%, McCain 45%

Obama's Steady Climb

2008-10-04T09:01:00.003-05:00

Yesterday's state-by-state polls continue to indicate that Obama is continuing his "tortoise and the hare"-like slow and steady climb. FiveThirtyEight.com shows good news in all of yesterday's state-level polls with the exception of Minnesota.

The idea that Minnesota would go McCain is a little surprising, but there are two points to consider here. One, McCain has been outspending Obama in Minnesota in terms of ad buys. Two, This is a SurveyUSA poll. They are frequently the "outliers", and their numbers in the primaries weren't always so dead on. Nonetheless, it's interesting to see Iowa consistently put into the "strong Obama" category and Minnesota put into the "lean Obama" category time and time again.

Now it gets interesting. Over the next couple of days, the poll numbers will start to reflect the impact of the veep debate, if there is any impact.

The Veep Debate

2008-10-02T23:01:00.003-05:00

Phew...the veep debate is over. My very disorganized and truncated thoughts:

Ifill was neutered. Palin was better than expected, but still much too folksy. She devoted perhaps 1-2 sentences in each response to acknowledging the question put to her, and then veered off into factually dubious Obama attacks. Biden started weak and ended strong. His moment of emotion over his hospitalized children was authentic and very powerful. Palin started strong, but her collection of talking points and anecdotes grew thin quickly. Is it elitist to want a veep that speaks in proper English? Has their ever been a veep that says, "you betcha" or "gonna"? Not in their kitchen, but on a national debate? Oh, and Palin seemed to indicate that she thinks that the veep should have MORE power. I'm sure after eight years of Cheney that may not be what America's looking for.

I had a blast reading the journalists who liveblogged during the debate. Here are some great liveblogs:

Marc Ambinder, of the Atlantic: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Josh Marshall, Talking Points Memo: Part 1, Part 2
Andrew Sullivan, of the Atlantic

The snap polls I've seen so far are all giving it to Biden. CBS gives it to Biden, 46% to 21%. CNN's poll gives it to Biden, 51% to 36%. Perhaps most troubling to the McCain camp is that only 46% of CNN's poll subjects thought Sarah Palin was qualified to be president. That's only a 4% gain from before the debate. That's not going to cut it.

I think that Palin did stop the bleeding, however...and McCain's got to be hoping that the tidal wave of criticism he's been facing over his drastically unqualified VP pick may subside for a while.

Ok, I Give Up.

2008-10-02T17:20:00.000-05:00

I give up. I've gone silent for quite a while now because I'm absolutely consumed with politics. I didn't want this to be a political blog, and I'm thinking about almost nothing else until after the election, so I decided to shut up.

But I can't shut up anymore. Politics is simply too much of what I care about and too much a part of who I am. So, until the election, I will begin posting my own political commentary, but even more frequently I will be posting the best articles, poll analysis, and political commentary that I've come across. This election cycle seems to be the cycle where the blogosphere has really come into it's own. Not just a place for ranting anymore, blogs are often doing the serious and important journalism that the traditional media doesn't do.

So, if you hate politics or if they bore you, check in again on November 5th. Actually, better make it November 6th. I will likely spend the 5th celebrating or crying.

Today's recommended reads:

Credit Where It's Due - a great posting from someone reflecting on how Obama has managed to strike the right tone over and over again, even as Democrats try to push him to be "angrier". Angry is just not part of who Obama is, and I think Obama understands that slow and steady wins the race.

Excerpt:
When you think about it, it's astounding. A first term African-American Senator with an Arabic name who is descended from and still related to Muslims in the post-9/11 era is on the verge of being elected President of the United States. If you submitted this script to Hollywood, they'd laugh you off the lot.
McCain is pulling out of Michigan. One look at the trend lines for Michigan make it clear that he is losing ground there quickly. This is horrible news for McCain supporters. There are very few scenarios in which McCain can win the presidency and lose Michigan.
Of course, tonight's big political news is the V.P. debate. This debate is 100% about Palin. Nobody will care about Biden at all. In fact, I heard someone say, "If people are talking about Biden after the debate tonight, then he messed up big." After Palin's cringe-worthy interviews with Katie Couric over the last week, the country is going to be watching to see if she can redeem herself. This is actually a better format for her than the Couric interviews. There will be fewer follow-up questions (where she really falls apart) and the questions will be more predictable. I don't think Sarah Palin is stupid, I think she just has an astonishing lack of knowledge about the issues our country faces. Until tonight's debate, enjoy her greatest hits.
Time magazine's Joe Klein, a long supporter of McCain until recent months has a new column out today called "Anger vs. Steadiness in the Crisis" in which he contrasts the two temperaments of Obama and McCain.

Excerpt:
A few hours before the house of Representatives smacked down the financial-bailout package, I watched John McCain — eyes flashing, jaw clenched, oozing sarcasm and disdain — on the attack in Ohio: "Senator Obama took a very different approach to the crisis our country faced. At first he didn't want to get involved. Then he was 'monitoring the situation.' That's not leadership; that's watching from the sidelines." And I thought of Karl Rove. Back in 2003, at the height of Howard Dean mania, Rove was skeptical about Dean's staying power as a candidate: "When was the last time Americans elected an angry President?"

Quote of the day

2008-09-26T13:07:00.000-05:00

From the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly:

STEPHEN COLBERT: One of the things I love about my character is I can make vast declarations and it doesn't matter if I'm wrong. I love being wrong. So my character can tell you exactly what's going to happen: The Democrats are going to change everything. We're going to have gay parents marrying their own gay babies. Obama's gonna be sworn in on a gay baby. The oath is gonna end ''So help me, gay baby.''

Matt's Brilliant Ideas, Vol. 863

2008-09-20T08:13:00.002-05:00

If you are at a gas station and are paying at the pump with a credit card and you are not issued a receipt, the gas is free.

Man, I'm a genius.

Lindsey Day

2008-09-16T17:23:00.000-05:00

I finally have Lindsey Buckingham's "Gift of Screws" in my hot little hand. It is amazing. Here is my extremely hasty, blow-by-blow Gift of Screws live blogging. It's not pretty...it's not insightful, but it was written real time.

Great Day – This is a very quirky song. Reminds me of the work he did on Tusk. Probably going to be the most eccentric song on the CD. This is the song that has the “guitar solo so ‘blowtorch-hot’” mentioned in the Rolling Stone review. Listening to the first half of the song, you’d never guess that this song would have a heavy solo in it. It’s kind of sparse up until the end, when he kind of tears loose. The solo has a very similar sound to the guitar sound he used in “Come” from Fleetwood Mac’s “Say You Will” album.
Time Precious Time – Even though this is supposed to be a more rocking album, this one is an acoustic, fast finger-picked song in the style of “Not Too Late” from Lindsey’s last CD. A pretty song. Didn’t strike me right away…but might after more listens.
Did You Miss Me – This is the single. It’s probably the most conventional song on the CD. I found it very boring until about the 6th time I heard it. It’s very low-key. No big guitar moments, not a really huge chorus. Just a very straight-forward song. Pretty melody, but much simpler than the stuff he normally writes…kind of like Peacekeeper.
Wait For You – This song rocks…I had heard this one as a demo a few years ago…but then it was called “Shuffle Riff”. It has a very bluesy feel, and sounds like it could’ve fit onto Rumours. (Mick Fleetwood and John McVie play bass and drums on this song). It has a hugely hooky chorus…best song so far. It also reminds me a bit (in the chorus) of Lindsey’s writing from the Go Insane album. This song was also produced by Rob Cavallo, who is a hotshot producer right now (he produces Green Day, for example).
Love Runs Deeper - If I were Warner Brothers, I would’ve pushed this as the first single. It’s extremely catchy, and the chorus sounds like something off of “Tango in the Night”. I think it has much more VH1 potential than the single he did release. It has a great contrast from a restrained and peppy verse to a big, booming chorus. The guitar solo has a very Rumours tone to it.
Bel Air Rain – Another fast acoustic finger-picking monster…one of those where you can hear Lindsey’s metronome click-track underneath, the way you can with “Shut Us Down” from the last CD. This is a great song…a sad, desperate song. One of the catchiest chord changes in the chorus of any song so far… Something about the writing style reminds of 1980s Lindsey.
The Right Place to Fade – This song is a pop/rock masterpiece. Breathtaking. I’ve had this song for a couple of years as a demo called “Twist of Fate”. I thought that he changed the words, but after hearing the high-fidelity version, I think that the words were just misunderstood by whoever first got a hold of the demo. This song has signature LB guitar all over it, and a chorus (full of LB’s modified vocals) that is instantly memorable. The last 40% of the song is nothing but blistering guitar work. Probably going to be my favorite.
Gift of Screws – Damn…I spoke too soon. This is a deranged, high-energy…(can I still be hetero if I use the word ‘romp’?) romp! This is the crazy, slightly insane Lindsey that we’ve been missing. Maybe only Holiday Road can compete in terms of hooks. It has an almost old-fashioned rock feel…a mixture of 1960s Chuck Berry and 1980s new wave.
Underground - This song makes it official. The songwriting on this album is definitely most reminiscent of Lindsey’s second solo album, “Go Insane”. Many of the same production techniques are used, including Lindsey modifying his own voice to sound like a woman and then recording his own background vocals. The chorus has some faint similarities to “On The Wrong Side”, which appeared on some movie soundtrack.
Treason – A mostly acoustic, mid-tempo number. This song is a rarity…an acoustic Lindsey song where the guitar is actually strummed instead of plucked. Pretty pedestrian verses, but the chorus is big with lots of reverb. Nothing in this song stands out as particularly memorable on the first listen. Seems like he wanted a more contemplative closer for the CD.

Countdown to Lindsey - One DAY!

2008-09-15T12:30:00.002-05:00

Lindsey with his "army of guitarists" on his 1993 solo tour. Great solo at around 2:20 or so.

The reviews are beginning to trickle in. The Times (in the UK) says:

"Buckingham's last solo album, 2006's Under the Skin, was a thing of wonder and beauty, but Gift of Screws finds him on even finer form. Fated for ever to be thought of as the man who reshaped Fleetwood Mac into a world-conquering rock band, the guitarist issues albums that, if they bore the group's name, would sell by the bucketload; and he's fated, too, to have his unsung status as one of the great geniuses of American sonic architecture obscured by his talent for undislodgable melody lines and radio-friendly hooks (though the hits invariably contained some deeply eccentric music-making). "

Countdown to Lindsey - Two Days

2008-09-14T23:48:00.000-05:00

The performance that re-introduced Lindsey to the world. "Big Love" on Fleetwood Mac's reunion special, "The Dance". He can do quite a bit with one guitar.

Countdown to Lindsey - Three Days

2008-09-13T15:49:00.001-05:00

Lindsey on Ellen last year. Best part is the solo at around 2:25.

Countdown to Lindsey - Four Days

2008-09-12T21:33:00.002-05:00

Four days left. I think I'll post a video each day until the release.

Here's Carrie Underwood with Lindsey:

Countdown to Lindsey

2008-09-11T20:12:00.001-05:00

Only five days until the new Lindsey. In the meantime, here's one of the hookiest, catchiest pop songs ever...unfortunately, it's one of the worst videos ever. Most of the budget must've gone to fog machines.

Anticipation

2008-09-11T12:27:00.000-05:00

One of my all-time favorite musicians, Lindsey Buckingham, has a new CD coming out on Tuesday, called Gift of Screws. As if I wasn't psyched enough, I got my latest issue of Rolling Stone in the mail today, and here's the first line of their review:

"On this album's opener, 'Great Day,' there's an electric-guitar solo so blowtorch-hot, it seems specifically designed to bitch-slap anyone with the nerve to wonder if Lindsey Buckingham still rocks."

Has Matt Died?

2008-09-10T16:40:00.004-05:00

No...I'm still here. I've been very busy with freelance projects lately and absolutely consumed by politics. For the next 60 days, I will be unable to think about anything else.

I've thought about writing some political posts, but there are so many great political bloggers out there that I would just be making a fool of myself.

Until I am back on my bloggy feet, enjoy some Cakewrecks.

Gross Generalization, Number 86

2008-08-22T21:36:00.002-05:00

My favorite entertainment blogger, Jeffrey Wells, has made another one of his gross generalizations. They never fail to crack me up.

This one is about the nature of conservatives versus liberals:

People who laugh like Daffy Duck and strut around with colorful body language and...you know, go "whoo-hoo!" and put lampshades on their heads are, I believe, blowing off steam because they lead strict, buttoned-down lifestyles and perhaps -- who knows? -- have guarded, buttoned-down philosophies.
Righties are like that -- golly-gee and lots of laughter and rib-poking on the outside and yet sort of dark and creepy underneath. Lefties are a little bit looser, cooler and more measured.

Love it. Kind of ridiculous...but there's a grain of truth in there.

The More You Know

2008-08-20T12:30:00.002-05:00

This episode of The More You Know is entitled: "How to make your young girls yell 'Daddy' in perfect synchronization and harmony". I have two young daughters, only 18 months apart, and lately I've stumbled upon a few ways to compel them to reflexively shout out "Daddy" in perfect time. For the benefit of others who may yearn for this skill, I'm sharing my secrets with the world. Before we begin, there is one prerequisite. First, you much purchase a small and cute puppy, such as ours, pictured below.

The list:

Refer to your dog as "Stinkweasel". Example, "Why are you so smelly, Stinkweasel?" DADDY!!!!
Imply that your dog is stupid. Example, "Why is the stupid dog eating a Kleenex?" DADDY!!!
Yell for the dog to come. The dog actually is a stupid stinkweasel, so she will not come on the first attempt. Yell again for her to come. She will only simultaneously stare blankly at you and something in the distance, because her stupid stinkweasel eyes look in two different directions. Yell one last time. She will, of course, ignore you. Walk towards the dog, proclaiming your intention to "beat her to death." DADDY!!!!

This has been The More You Know.

Fun With Charts

2008-08-17T20:31:00.002-05:00

It is not my intention to turn this blog into an endless collection of youtube clips, but everyone should watch this clip of Demetri Martin. I think he's the Steven Wright of our generation.

And remember: culture is attracted to squigglies.

Baracky II

2008-08-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

So great.

In Defense of Spongebob

2008-08-13T17:05:00.000-05:00

My workplace has an electronic bulletin board of sorts where the employees can discuss various topics. Recently, someone posted anonymously in the "Parenting" area about Spongebob. She said, in part:

Neither my husband nor I are fans of Spongebob. We have watched a very few Spongebob shows and don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old. We also just limit the amount of TV for our children as well - usually no more than 1/2 hour per day. We tend to watch shows such as Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Club House, Little Bear, Franklin, and My Friends Tigger and Pooh. They also watch John & Kate Plus 8, Animal Planet channel, etc. We find that the shows I've mentioned here each teach some good lessons and our children just flat out like the shows.

Are there others in agreement here? If so, why? If not, can you speak to what values you feel Spongebob does provide?

I'm a big Spongebob fan, and my kid's love it. There was something about this post...I think it was the "...don't see any value that it would provide our 4-year-old" line, that reminded me of the scene in Uncle Buck where the principal of Buck's niece's elementary school accuses his niece of being a "silly heart".

I submitted the following defense:

Spongebob may be a little old for a 4 year old, but I will vehemently defend Spongebob as a great and fun show.

My two kids have, at one time or another, watched most of the shows that were listed below (Backyardigans, Franklin, etc…) and they are all good shows. However, children’s programming today is so saturated with “lessons” and educational aspects that most of the plain old fun has been squeezed out. When I was a kid, there was a more obvious split: Sesame Street was educational, Bugs Bunny was goofy.

There’s not a single children’s show that I’ve seen in the last 8 years that is as silly and funny as Spongebob. And while I think that “playing nicely together” and “respecting your elders” are valuable lessons to learn, I also think that humor is a priceless gift.

Spongebob as a character is also a great role model in his own ridiculous way. He is an eternal optimist and believes that every day has the chance to be “the best day ever!”. He is undyingly loyal to his friends, and is extremely conscientious about all things in his life, especially his job. The show glorifies friendship and lampoons greed. It’s a sweet and good natured show that is legitimately funny.

Long live Spongebob and in the words of Uncle Buck, "I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a silly heart."

Toy Malpractice

2008-08-12T14:05:00.001-05:00

Quick question for the folks out there. Has there ever been a toy walkie-talkie set that has ever worked in the history of humanity?

Strong Words!

2008-08-04T12:15:00.000-05:00

Jeffrey Wells is a very entertaining film blogger who I've quoted here before. He is a lot of things, but never tentative.

Here's his latest statement on the "Mummy" movies starring Brendan Fraser:

"I really and truly consider all three Mummy movies (the first two directed by Stephen Sommers, who produced the current installment) a blight upon our souls. It is industrial-strength pollution in the American cultural river. Giving a pass to these movies is like blowing a kiss to the devil himself."

37 Nuggets of Knowledge About Matt

2008-07-31T20:40:00.002-05:00

Despite the fact that these long lists of questions usually strike me as a bit...well...masturbatory, Dan did call me out. Honor demands that I answer these questions!

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Like Dan, I'm not entirely sure that I've ever eaten blue cheese...at least knowingly. I have to be Switzerland on this one.

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yes. That's yes as in, "Yes, I've smoked a cigarette and/or cigar before." but not "yes, I've been a smoker."

3. Do you own a gun?
No actual firearms. But man, I miss my tracer gun. That was one of the best toys ever. Also, I used to have a battery-powered squirt gun that looked like a real machine gun. That was back in the good old days when toy guns weren't all neon orange.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
I have no clue. Probably black cherry. At least, that's the only flavor I can actually remember drinking. Favorite by default.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on what I'm there for. I'm a bit of a wimp about shots and/or getting blood drawn. I don't get dizzy or the shakes or anything, but I hate the anticipation. It's the long, ridiculous, drawn-out nature of the thing. They sloooowly put on the rubber gloves. They carefully knead your arm to expose a good vein. Then they methodically swab your arm with alcohol. All the while, you're painfully aware that these are just the steps that must be taken before you are stabbed. I'd much rather they jump you from behind the door the second you walk in and take the blood by surprise.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I'm pro hot dog.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Scrooged, I'd say.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Life, man. Life. Too douchebaggy? Ok, Water.

9. Can you do push ups?
Sure.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The only jewelry I possess is my wedding ring.

11. Favorite hobby?
Currently, I'd say Guitar Hero. I have many hobbies, but they tend to fade after a short, intense run. So far, Guitar Hero has lasted about a year and a half.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
Probably not technically...but my attention is very divided normally.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
I do not.

14. Middle name?
John.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I'm vaguely irritated that my girls are still awake, because they have had an exhausting day (we are on vacation at King's Pointe waterpark) and should be passed out. I realized today that I'm really hard on first time novelists...I read their books with a frown and they have to REALLY blow me away. I finished watching "The Abyss" on my iPod last night while my wife and girls were asleep...and was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Much better than I remember.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water, Lemonade, Orange Juice (I'll drink OJ with anything. Spaghetti, pizza, you name it).

17. Current worry?
Fear/xenophobia/racism/cynicism will prove powerful enough to overcome Obama's candidacy.

18. Current hate right now?
Mayflies.

19. Favorite place to be?
That's a tough one...I tend to like really ridiculous fake touristy places like Universal Studios.

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
I honestly can't remember...and not because I was drunk. Exciting, I know.

21. Where would you like to go?
Maine, Seattle, Portland, San Diego...

22. Name three people who will complete this?
Wow...I don't even have 3 blogger friends!

23. Do you own slippers?
No.

24. What shirt are you wearing?
Right now I'm wearing a Maynard Ferguson shirt, spreading the word!

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I'm not sure I ever have. It doesn't sound appealing to me, though.

26. Can you whistle?
Like a champ.

27. Favorite color?
Blue.

28. Would you be a pirate?
Probably not.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I usually have talk radio on in the morning, so I guess whatever jingle is on the radio. "...everybody knows it's Lebeda".

30. Favorite Girl's Name?
Mattilda

31. Favorite boy's name?
Matthew

32. What's in your pocket right now?
Not a damn thing.

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
My kids being ridiculous today.

34. What vehicle do you drive?
A gold Toyota Corolla.

35. Worst injury you've ever had?
In the first grade (on May Day, no less), I was hit in the face (accidentally) with a golf club by the neighbor girl. 28 stitches were required to close up my chin.

36. Do you love where you live?
Not even a little bit.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Four.

Hero or Arch Nemesis?

2008-07-29T17:15:00.001-05:00

As you all know, I am a bit of a Guitar Hero nut. My master plan is to eventually support myself with Guitar Hero winnings, as I travel the countryside from tourney to tourney.

Blake Peebles, a 16 year old from Raleigh, is either living my dream or is an obstacle in my path.

His parents have agreed to let him drop out of school (they are home schooling him now) so that he can concentrate more deeply on Guitar Hero.

This is not good.

Not only does he probably have faster reflexes (he is, after all 17 years younger than me), but he now has much more time to devote to his regime. My super awesome talent can only take me so far.

Hatred Lives

2008-07-28T12:05:00.002-05:00

As a Unitarian Universalist, I was horrified to hear about a man walking into a UU church in Tennessee yesterday and opening fire with a shotgun. I first heard the news from a fellow UUer, whose mother attends that congregation and was there at the time (she was not hurt).

Anne and I were discussing it last night, and she mentioned that it had crossed her mind before that the church (as in, the UU church as an institution) could be a magnet for someone who is unstable and looking to cause some trouble. I kind of brushed it off, thinking that there must have been some other motivation.

Today the AP confirmed that the liberal views of the Unitarian Universalists were indeed the target of this man. According to the article, "An unemployed man accused of opening fire with a shotgun and killing two people at a Unitarian church apparently targeted the congregation out of hatred for its liberal social policies, police said Monday." Also, "It appears that what brought him to this horrible event was his lack of being able to obtain a job, his frustration over that and his stated hatred of the liberal movement."

This is obviously very disturbing to hear that your views are so offensive to some people that they are willing to commit murder over them, but I'm more angry than distraught. The AP article has this to say about UU: "Unitarians have roots in a movement that rejected Puritan orthodoxy in New England. Although the outlook and beliefs of individual Unitarian churches can vary dramatically, most congregations retain a deep commitment to social justice, which has led them to embrace liberal positions over the years. Unitarians were among the first to ordain women, support the civil rights movement and back gay rights."

Yes, we're clearly on the wrong side of history here.

Why should I worry about gunmen in my church, while churches who proudly advertise their "homosexuality treatment camps" walk around with heads held high? How are our views somehow more offensive than churches who picket funerals of gay soldiers with signs that read "God Hates Fags!!!" or churches that work to Christianize the science that we teach our children, thus making us less competitive in the global market?

Today I'm frustrated, and my thoughts are with those Tennessee UUers.

Late Update: Here's a post from someone who can actually write on this issue. (Thanks to Dan for this link)

Growing Up

2008-07-27T22:51:00.002-05:00

I'm normally a bit uncomfortable with these sentimental posts, and this one smells strongly of P.J. of Family Circus fame...but here goes.

Lately I've been really aware that my youngest, Melanie, will be slipping out of "little girl" mode any day now. She's six years old, and doesn't have much time left before she starts pronouncing words correctly. Today, I heard her say two things that reminded me that she still is that little girl, and it depressed me to realize that I'm on borrowed time here.

She still pronounces "animal" like "aminal"...and today, after some rigorous exercise, she told me that she could feel her heart "beeping" really fast. I'm going to hate it when she gets those two things right.

Bush or Batman?

2008-07-25T12:05:00.000-05:00

A co-worker sent this to me, and it cracked me up. Can you tell the difference between Batman and Bush quotes?

Things Matt Finds Weird, Volume 68

2008-07-23T17:09:00.001-05:00

You know what I find strange? Couples that have a shared email address. And if the email address is a mash-up of their first names, like richandsuze@thesmiths.com, I find it even stranger.

If you're one of these people, please explain yourself by leaving a comment. I mean, email addresses are free in most cases. You can have your own.

Maybe we can get some informal data to draw some correlations. I'm curious if couples who share an email address are more likely to open each other's mail. Or wear matching pajamas. Or are more likely to grocery shop together, maybe? Do they eat more casseroles than the average couple? I don't know, I'm just throwing things out here in the name of science. This is a learning opportunity!

Peepers

2008-07-21T12:04:00.000-05:00

I went to the eye doctor last week for perhaps only the 3rd or 4th time in my life. I've had a couple of odd things going on with my eyeballs lately and thought it was time to have them checked out. Because I've had my eyes examined so rarely, the entire process is something I'm completely uncomfortable with.

After last week's examination, I've concluded that a trip to the eye doctor is a 30 minute willful suppression of every eye-protecting instinct that we've got. Think about it...our eyes are extremely important and delicate organs. Over millions of years, we've evolved some pretty powerful instincts to protect them. Heck, even a loud noise causes an involuntary blink. But not on eye doctor day! That's the day that our minds have to overpower our reflexes.

Here, stare at this device while I shoot a blast of air into your eyes!

Look straight at the ceiling with your eyes wide open while I drop a chemical into them, please. Will it sting? Oh, hell yes. What does it do, you ask? Oh, it overrides your eye's ability to protect itself from bright lights and forces your pupils wide open for about six hours so that I can do a 3 minute examination. Are they wide open yet? Good! Now place your head into this brace so that I can shine incredibly powerful lights into them while they are at their most vulnerable state.

The New Atheism?

2008-07-16T17:41:00.001-05:00

"The New Atheism" is a term used to describe the recent spate of outspoken and unapologetic atheist authors such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennett, and Sam Harris. The general feeling among hard right conservatives is that this new form of sometimes aggressive atheism is its own kind of religion.

Here's just a taste of the kinds of statements that these authors are making these days:

"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."
-Richard Dawkins
"The idea that any one of our religions represents the infallible word of the One True God requires an encyclopedic ignorance of history, mythology, and art even to be entertained.... Whatever their imagined source, the doctrines of modern religions are no more tenable than those which, for lack of adherents, were cast upon the scrap heap of mythology millennia ago."
-Sam Harris
"Religion ends and philosophy begins, just as alchemy ends and chemistry begins and astrology ends, and astronomy begins."
-Christopher Hitchens

Reading these quotes, it's clear to see that these authors are not only atheists, but they are also anti-Christianists. They have been taking a lot of heat for their stance, and this phrase "the new atheism" seems to reinforce this meme that atheists these days are mean, arrogant, pushy jack asses.

I'm a little torn, myself. I have to admit that I agree whole-heartedly with the sentiments in each quote above. But is this kind of atheistic writing actually helpful? I used to think so. Outspoken atheism was waaaay overdue, in my opinion. After all, every religious community in the world has a never-ending supply of outspoken and judgmental representatives. And yet...atheists are still hated and distrusted in this community. A single strongly-written pro-atheism book makes waves and gets all kinds of press...while a book from Pat Robertson with equality inflammatory language wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.

My favorite blogger, conservative writer Andrew Sullivan, has been engaging with readers in a discussion about this new atheism. The conversation has been respectful, thoughtful, and eye-opening.

Sullivan has posted several reader emails in addition to his own thoughts. In particular, three of the reader emails resonated strongly with me. They represent my own thoughts very well. Here are all three.

The first:

To me, atheism is a scientific argument with moral ramifications. Theism is a theory that cannot be reasonably defended within the paradigm our natural world. Just like no scientist would give any consideration to people claiming that the sun revolves around the earth. It's not matter of ridicule. It matter of understanding hypothesis, observation, and conclusion. While this angers many religious folk as somehow condescending, most atheists like Dawkins are simply saying that based on our knowledge of the scientific method, one cannot argue that the world was created in seven days, or that water turned to wine, etc., etc. There is no malice intended. There is only frustration at the number of people who can selectively relax their notion of scientific rigor to allow for these supernatural beliefs.
Personally, I can understand anti-theism, and in many ways support it. The reason has nothing to do with superiority or snobbishness. It pains me in my heart to see the death and destruction that religion has caused throughout history. It gives me anxiety to look at my one-year old son and think that he'll be brought up in a society that doesn't see any link between the erosion of critical thinking and the increase in religiosity. People seem to need figures like bin Laden, Koresh, Hubbard, etc., so they can point fingers and proclaim them to be religious fanatics or "wackos". It makes the average moderate Christian/Muslim/Jew/Hindu feel better about their faith. As if the suspension of scientific thought that they exercise has absolutely nothing to do the extremism that is built on the same principle. I am not trying to lump everyone into the same group here, I'm just attempting to explain how a scientist views this general line of thinking as major threat to society. The slippery-est of slopes.

I sincerely believe that most atheism is spawned not out of hate and elitism, but out of love. Atheists like me have simply lost all faith that religion can exist without being used as a tool for justifying war and subjugation. If it could, even scientists that cringe at the thought of accepting supernatural beliefs would probably learn to coexist peacefully with theism, given that many beliefs system also catalyze acts of great compassion. But in the end, I'm torn as to which notion is more naive and idealistic: a world without theism or world in which theism does not lead to human suffering.

The second:

I read your (and your readers') religious posts with great interest. Hell, I go to one of the top Catholic universities in the country. I have taken more theology courses than any human should.

That said, I'm probably an atheist. What I am not, however, is an anti-theist. Religion has the same potential for good as for bad. If all faith ceased to exist tomorrow, there would still be war, persecution, crime, etc. What upsets me, and I assume many atheists, is the inability of many in the religious fold to admit that they might be wrong.

I fully understand and realize that I may burn in hell for my beliefs (or lack thereof). Why can't they just say 'look, this is what I believe, but who knows.' It is the hubris of the theists that turns atheists into anti-theists.

The third:

You cannot be a man of faith unless you know how to doubt. You cannot believe in God unless you are capable of questioning the authority of prejudice, even though that prejudice may seem to be religious. Faith is not blind conformity to prejudice - a "pre-judgement". It is a decision, a judgement that is fully and deliberately taken in the light of a truth that cannot be proven. It is not merely the acceptance of a decision that has been made by somebody else.

Quote of the day

2008-07-07T12:10:00.000-05:00

"Any joke that doesn't offend at least a few people is unlikely to be funny." - Michael Kinsley, in an article for Slate.com about Al Franken's senate run.

So true.

Fark Roundup

2008-07-03T16:50:00.000-05:00

Fark.com is an incredibly effective time killer. If you've never been, it's essentially a site where users submit links to other sites, and they describe the links with humorous descriptions of their own.

Here are a few links I saw today, with their clever user-submitted headlines.

BBC News: Henry Winkler visits British school to talk about dyslexia. Because who could be a better spokesman than someone whose catchphrase consisted of one letter?
AP News: If you're going to kill your wife by poisoning her with antifreeze, be sure that you flush your browser cache and history to eliminate your search terms "ethylene glycol death human"
Chicago Tribune: Fireworks store burns down. OOOOOH AAAAAH the humanity
Ninemsn.com: Protesters chain themselves to power station. Some will like it hot and sweat when the heat is on, while some will feel the heat and decide that they can't go on.
AP Wire: Pentagon unveils new enlistment waiver procedures to make it easier for the military to accept sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads and of course righteous dudes

Jack Black is Bringing on the Fun

2008-07-01T12:08:00.000-05:00

I love Jack Black. I celebrate his entire catalogue. Two years ago, I caught this commercial on our DVR and we played it over and over again. My daughters would sing with it and could also do his little dance. My wife and I were just trying to remember how the song went while driving on a mini-road trip this weekend. God bless you, YouTube.

The Bumbler

2008-06-30T17:35:00.000-05:00

I've noticed a common thread that has woven its way through film and television over the past 40 years. I will call it "The Bumbler". For reasons I can't explain, characters continue to pop up that have all of the makings of a great spy or superhero or boss or whatever...but instead they are incessant bumblers.

This has been on my mind lately because of the recent Get Smart movie. The original Get Smart television series is a classic example of the bumbler phenomenon in television. The idea, I assume, is that people will delight at the madcap parody of a James Bond-style secret agent. The seemingly suave spy with the great suit and high-tech gadgets, tripping over his own feet and basically acting ridiculous. You know what I'd rather see? An actual suave spy with the great suit and high-tech gadgets!

I had forgotten about the pervasiveness of the bumbler in children's television until my kids checked out an "Inspector Gadget" tape from the library (itself a spoof or extension of Get Smart). This show brought me endless frustration as a kid. What's the point of spending millions of dollars creating a robotic (half robotic? I can't remember) super agent if he can't use even the most basic of his gadgets? I wanted to see a show about a robotic secret agent that kicked ass, not one that got tangled up in his own go-go gadget legs.

The bumbler crept into every show that had potential to be cool. Apparently some television executive thought that every awesome show for 10 year-olds needed something that the viewer's 3 year old sister could giggle at. Godzilla was the greatest cartoon of all time until "Godzooky" came onto the scene. The Superfriends could survive the addition of the worthless Wonder Twins, but not Gleek.

Don't even get me started on the Greatest American Hero. Oh, please, where do I sign up to watch some curly-haired doofus fly into a billboard once a week? My only solace in this whole mess is that the bumbler never made it into my precious Incredible Hulk television series. I'll bet it wasn't easy. I'm sure there's a script somewhere with a post-it from the top brass that reads, "The scene where the Hulk picks up the car...couldn't he drop it on his toe?"

Pet Peeve #163

2008-06-24T21:26:00.001-05:00

I hate when people emphatically exclaim, "Don't even joke!".

Example:

"I wonder what ever became of Joe and Sue?"
"Joe's probably shacked up with some hooker."
"Don't even joke!"

When Logic Defeats Humor

2008-06-23T17:07:00.000-05:00

I have a logical personality. Some people that know me well would suggest that I'm too logical. I also love humor, and I will watch a very good stand-up comedy routine over and over again. Normally, my logical side and my humorous side live in perfect harmony. After all, humor requires a certain amount of logic. However, there are times where my logical side rears up and beats the hell out of my humorous side.

Today is a good example of that phenomenon.

One of my irrational pet peeves are those lists that frequently pop up in chain emails and message board that are meant to showcase the "wackiness" of the world we live in. Today I saw one such list and I realized that I can no longer enjoy them, because I expend too much mental energy answering the questions. Not only do I spend time answering them, but my responses grow increasingly impatient and angry.

Examples from the list I saw today:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Matt: Because "4 billion stars" is completely abstract and unverifiable to most people, while wet paint can be checked with the touch of a finger.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Matt: Because a head wound could cause the pilot to crash into the sea or ground instead of his target.

Why do drive-up ATMs have braille?

Matt: Because they are all manufactured the same way. The ATM manufacturer does not know if the ATM will be used in a drive-through or a lobby.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Matt: Um, through very small holes and gaps? Is this really stumping people?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Matt: This question is evidence of a fundamental misunderstanding of evolution. A 6th grade biology student would have too much education to find this question puzzling.

What worries me is that I appear to be growing increasingly crotchety and impatient as I get older. I fear that I will ultimately end up a humorless old bastard, randomly shouting at kids to stay off of the lawn.

Am I the only one that hates these ridiculous attempts at "observational" humor?

My Next 10 Tunes

2008-06-18T17:26:00.003-05:00

Inspired by this blog post, Dan, Bess, and I have decided to try the "Next 10 Tunes" thing ourselves. Basically, this means that you put your iPod on shuffle, and list out the first 10 tunes you see, with commentary.

While stepping through my songs, I made a vow that I would not skip any song for reason of embarrassment. However, I have about 6500 songs on my iPod, so I did skip a few songs that I didn't know or barely knew. I was surprised when looking at the list that it was so rock-heavy. I wouldn't think of my CD collection as a hard rock collection...but most of these would fall into that category. Here they are:

Ozone Mama - Black Crowes
First up is "Ozone Mama," from the Crowes' Lions album. I have this theory that certain bands are made better by excessive drug use...but it will eventually catch up with them. This album is where it started to catch up to Chris Robinson and crew. The songs are mostly still strong...but they started to lose their melodic uniqueness and become more loose and jam-band oriented. That said, Ozone Mama is a really cool, laid back southern groove. Extra points for harmonica.

Benton Harbor Blues - The Fiery Furnaces
The Fiery Furnaces are weird. I mean, really weird. They (a brother a sister duo, I think) make some of the least mainstream and least accessible music that I've ever heard. However, Benton Harbor Blues is really a very catchy and nice song. I have two of their albums, and this is the only song I could imagine from either album ever making its way onto a radio station. I have only one hangup with the song: The rhythmic keyboard bed of the song sounds just like the little Casio part in the Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Tracy Morgan and Chris Kattan Christmas song they used to perform on SNL.

Gel - Collective Soul
Collective Soul is like the Titanic movie. Everyone loved it at the time, but now they pretend they didn't. I'm a bit of a loyalist, though, and I can remember how great this single was. I was in college in Cedar Falls, Iowa, and was struggling to get into the grunge music that was so ubiquitous at the time. Collective Soul was the answer for me, because they were able to combine the fuzzy, crunchy guitar sound of grunge music with hooks and actual melodies.

Waste - Smash Mouth
Before they became "the band with that song from Shrek" and their lead singer took a turn on The Surreal Life, Smash Mouth could really write a song. They carved out this odd retro 60s pop niche for themselves...but then never left it. This is one of the best albums that I never listen to.

Flaming Heart - The Meat Puppets
I can't remember what possessed me to buy a Meat Puppets album in the mid 90s, but I loved this one. What a great mix of hooks and straight-forward pop-rock. However, I've never heard another Meat Puppets record that wasn't full of melody-free songs and out of tune vocals... So was this album a fluke? A product of technology? Maybe some Meat Puppets fan can educate me...

Train Kept a Rollin (unplugged) - Aerosmith
Little known fact: Aerosmith was the first band to appear on MTV Unplugged. They played almost no hits...it was a fan's dream. I have this on a CD bootleg where the artist is declared to be "Aero S. Mith". This old Yardbirds song was a staple of Aerosmith shows in the 70s.

Carbon Monoxide - Cake
Cake gets environmental! I love Cake. I saw them at the Val Air Ballroom in Des Moines a few years ago and it was one of the 3 or 4 best concerts I've ever seen. This catchy little ditty is a rant against carbon monoxide. Best line: "Car after bus after car after truck after this my lungs will be so f***ed up!"

Wiggle Stick - Reverend Horton Heat
My friend John is a huge Rev fan, and I absorbed some of it through osmosis. If you've never heard the Rev, his music is a mixture of rockabilly and punk with a lot of virtuoso guitar thrown in. John and I once went to see the Rev play in Omaha. We hung out by the bus after the show and got to meet him. Quick side story: The Melvins were opening and the crowd was not enthusiastic. Eventually, the crowd started booing and yelling. They finished their set, and the lead singer of the Melvins said to the crowd in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Have a nice life...in Omaha." and then starts laughing. Great burn.

Fired - Ben Folds
One of the 10 best albums I own. Ranks among the best of Elton John and Billy Joel for piano pop. This song always reminded me of the Alan Parsons project.

Vigilante Man - Joe Perry
A Woody Guthrie remake recorded by Perry on his 2005 solo album. Lots of classic Joe Perry slide guitar. No frills, simple production. Great song.

Maiden Voyage

2008-06-09T23:06:00.002-05:00

My friend Bess has just launched her very own blog. Her first post includes tales of a road trip that subconsciously stir up Thelma and Louise memories...for some reason.

Take a visit to Besside Myself.

Trumpet Nerds Unite!

2008-06-09T17:23:00.000-05:00

Because he fronted the Tonight Show band for so many years, Doc Severinsen is frequently overlooked when people think about trumpet masters. In his prime, Doc was one of the best trumpet players in the world.

I've just today seen this clip for the first time, and to a trumpet nerd like me, it is jaw-dropping. Never mind the cheesy arrangement and clothing...this is world class trumpet playing.

Campaign '08 in 8

2008-06-09T16:52:00.002-05:00

Check out this really impressive video from Slate that condenses the entire Democratic 2008 campaign into 8 minutes. Great editing.

Well, I Saw It

2008-06-04T23:15:00.002-05:00

Well, I finally saw it. Indiana Jones is back after twenty years. Overall, I'd give it maybe 3.5 stars out of 5. My lowered expectations were really crucial...it in no way would've lived up to my hopes if I had gone in cold.

Some more specific thoughts...and these will be packed with spoilers, so consider yourself warned.

What didn't work:

Indiana Jones movies have always required some serious suspension of disbelief...but there were a couple of moments in this film that went too far. Mutt and the monkeys? Ugh.
No human being could survive a being hurled hundreds of yards in a refrigerator. This is one thing that bugged me about Iron Man, too. Just because someone is inside of something strong (like a fridge or a suit of armor) does not mean that they can survive an impact with the ground at over 100 miles an hour.
I really do miss the days before CGI. When movies required the building of sets, things looked real (Jabba the Hutt looked REAL, dammit). The effects were incredible...but the entire movie had a sort of washed out, pristine look that didn't fit with Indiana.
I'm no fan of Indiana Jones in the 1950s. They really had no choice but to set it in the '50s, unless they pretended that Harrison didn't age, but it didn't feel right to put Indiana Jones in the world of sock hops.
The first 20 minutes. For the entire opening 20 minutes, it felt like I was watching Harrison Ford pretend to be Indiana Jones.
Not enough whipping!
The dialogue. In spots, the script worked well...but it sometimes felt forced...particularly when trying to cram in 50s slang like "daddy-o". One friend told me that the dialogue made him feel "stabby".

What worked:

Shia LaBeouf. He was surprisingly good and had some real chemistry with Harrison.
The action. The chase sequences really did feel like old Indiana Jones again. The chase by the Russians through the university campus and the jungle chase were really, really good. Great stunt work.
The cinematography. I had read that Spielberg wanted long shots, rather than the rapid-edit shaky cam style that's been popularized by the Bourne trilogy. There were several really impressive shots during the chase sequences that were long, unbroken shots.
Harrison. After the movie got going, Harrison finally did seem to inhabit the character again. He's really at his best when crawling through a cave or involved in a sort of chase.
The humor. The amount of silliness was basically just right. I found myself laughing several times (when the chase goes into the library; when Indy is caught in the dry sandpit).
The references to previous films. The nods to the other 3 Indy movies were mostly subtle and clever.

This is one of those movies that I enjoyed, but didn't LOVE. I expect that I will buy it on DVD, watch it again, and like it more the second time.

Tonight is the Night.

2008-06-04T17:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight I will finally see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. On one hand, I'm expecting to like it. On the other hand, I've had a few friends who have seen it warn me to lower my expectations a bit. I think they have been sufficiently lowered, but trying to lower my expectations on something I've waited 20 years for is not easy. Indiana Jones was the absolute ultimate idol of my childhood. Hearing these harsh words about the movie is rough. It's as though I'm finally going to meet Santa Claus now that I'm an adult and someone telling me, "Yeah...he's neat and all...but you should know...he swears a lot and smells like beef stew."

Maizy's First Hair Cut

2008-06-04T12:25:00.001-05:00

This is going to be a departure from the normal tough and cool subjects I typically cover in this blog. Our dog just got her first real hair cut.

She is about 5 months old, and had grown into a bit of a furball. Here she is, pre-hair cut, with Casey.

After her hair cut, she's a lean, mean, fighting machine:

She looks like half the dog she was before. I now call her "The Weasel".

Could Coldplay Be...Good?

2008-06-02T11:59:00.000-05:00

On Friday, I bought a ticket to "Lazerfest 2" which will allow me to cross Stone Temple Pilots off of my "bands to see before I die" list. The bad news? My $35 ticket cost me over $45 after Ticketmaster tacked on their ridiculous fees. The good news? I got a free iTunes download.

It just so happens that when I received my free iTunes download I was approaching hour 73 of the hijacking of my brain by Coldplay's new "Viva La Vida" single. I must be squarely in the center of Apple's target demographic, because the iTunes commercial that features Coldplay is on every show I've watched for the past two weeks. So I gave in, cashed in my free download, and acquired "Viva La Vida".

It's such a great single that I have been forced to re-examine my completely uninformed judgment of Coldplay. I don't think I've heard 10 seconds of Coldplay before this new song, but I had this surprisingly fleshed-out preconceived notion of them as a sort of whiny, moody, wimpy Euro-pop band. You know...the kind of band whose music evokes a "mood" but has no discernible melody and has no point other than to sound brooding and sophisticated. This song has forced me to realize that I may have come to some rash conclusion about Coldplay without a shred of evidence.

Could Coldplay be...good?

Anyone out there actually have an informed opinion about Coldplay?

Orange Slices

2008-05-30T15:13:00.003-05:00

I picked up a large plastic tub of candy orange slices a few days ago while grocery shopping. During each of the last few days, I've had the exact same experience with these things. I walk through the kitchen, see the orange slices, and think, "Sweet! Orange slices!". Here's how it goes:

Orange Slice #1: Man, these are delicious! Three cheers to whoever invented orange slices!
Orange Slice #s 2-6: I congratulate myself on this ingenious purchase. These should be called "orange slices of heaven"!

At this point, something biological happens.

Orange Slice #7: Sweet holy God I will vomit if I eat another orange slice! Whoever invented orange slices should be stabbed in the neck!

A strong, powerful wall is hit between orange slice 6 and 7. I can't scientifically explain it. But I will tell you that a night's sleep will erase it, and the very next day I am enthusiastic once again about orange slice #1.

Gross Generalizations

2008-05-28T12:10:00.003-05:00

Two things that I always find highly amusing are 1) gross generalizations and 2) movie/television reviews that are so negative that they are actually angry. Jeffrey Wells is a movie critic and blogger who occasionally combines those two things ("Your chocolate is in my peanut butter!")

Today, he had this to say about the new Sex and the City movie:

The film is another Taliban recruitment film -- a grotesque and putrid valentine to the insipid "me, my lifestyle, my accessories and I" chick culture of the early 21st Century. Guys everywhere -- if you're in a brand-new relationship, take her to see this thing. If she even half-likes it, dump her and walk away cold. Save yourself!

Priceless!

IQ and Biblical Literalism

2008-05-27T17:10:00.001-05:00

Well here's something that is not at ALL controversial. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). A few months ago, scienceblogs.com posted the results of a study that collected the SAT scores of various students and grouped them by religious denomination.

Leading the pack were Unitarian Universalists. Why do I care? I'm a Unitarian Universalist. I never took the SAT (we take the ACT here in Iowa), but now, based on this survey, I have no choice but to conclude that I would've just nailed it.

Then, this week, scienceblogs.com looked at the numbers from that survey again and plotted them against the proportion which believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible. This will shock all of you. (ahem). As it turns out, those who believe that the Bible is literally true have (on average) a lower IQ than those who don't.

The semi-serious chicken or the egg question: Are folks with lower IQs drawn to Biblical literalism, or does Biblical literalism lower your IQ?

Generational Media Divide

2008-05-20T09:32:00.002-05:00

In a recent blog post, Matthew Yglesias of The Atlantic writes:

It's interesting, though, that we're seeing the emergence of a bifurcated media landscape and political conversation. People over a certain age exist in a universe where it's almost as if the web doesn't exist and things like the nightly news, the daily paper, and the cable networks are utterly dominant. For people below a certain age, the nightly news is totally irrelevant, the daily paper is primarily a website, and things like blogs and web videos matter a great deal.

I hadn't considered this idea of a "bifurcated media landscape" until reading this post, but I fall completely into his bucket of "people below a certain age". I never, and I mean NEVER, watch television news. Wait...I take that back. I do watch cable news on Caucus and Primary nights, because that's the fastest way to get results. I also never miss an episode of The Daily Show. Most people wouldn't consider that "news", but it consistently offers more analysis of news and current events than a conventional news show. I will glance at a newspaper on Sunday mornings, sticking to the local news and the opinion page. Otherwise, though, I get my news entirely from the Internet. However, I'm fairly sure that my parents (who are not elderly by any means) get none of their news from blogs or any other websites.

Generally speaking, I'm in favor of the web's rise in the news space. Reputable blogs often have more in-depth coverage and analysis of events, and they allow for discussion and feedback. My only concern is that it contributes to the rise of "opinion media". Fox News provides conservatives their news sifted through a conservative filter. Increasingly, MSNBC is becoming the liberal equivalent to Fox News. If you're looking for news presented from the viewpoint that makes you the most comfortable or reinforces your opinions...then you're not really getting news as much as a massaging of your world view.

Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Snooty Critics

2008-05-17T07:46:00.002-05:00

Tonight (or is it this morning? I don't know the time difference), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will screen at the Cannes Film Festival. It's quite a gamble for a big studio to take a summer blockbuster to Cannes. Sure, you're guaranteed enormous publicity, but a summer movie has to be pretty exceptional to survive the gauntlet of film snobs. The DaVinci Code tried this a couple of years ago, and got a serious smack-down from the critics. Then again, it didn't hurt their box office.

I'll be keeping my eyes open for Cannes reaction... In the dark secret spot of my brain I want it to receive a few minor punches, at least. I need my expectations to be lowered a little if I'm going to enjoy this movie at all. I've got to be realistic about this thing!

Colbert Hilarity

2008-05-14T20:41:00.002-05:00

As much as I love Jon Stewart, I have to admit that Colbert is more consistently funny. This clip of Colbert spoofing O'Reilly's on-screen meltdown is priceless.

And, in honor of other on-screen outbursts, here's a collection of some of the finest.

Pandering to the Internets

2008-05-14T12:59:00.001-05:00

Yesterday's post about Obama and racism among some West Virginian primary voters brought me twice my normal number of visitors (triple digits, you're on notice!). A quick glimpse at my stats showed that the increase was due to surfers arriving at this site by way of Google. Some of the keyword phrases that brought people here:

"racism west virginia"
"west virginia primary exit polls"
"west virginia exit polls"

This is my first taste of the rewards available if I just pander to the internet. So, I'm turning over a new leaf. No more posts about G.I. Joe or Guitar Hero Aerosmith. From now on, it's only current events! Earthquakes in China, tornadoes in the United States, and rising gas prices.

That's right, I'm totally selling out. If the Rolling Stones can sell "Start Me Up" to Microsoft, who am I to defend artistic integrity?

Racism, Ignorance or Both?

2008-05-13T12:31:00.001-05:00

Ok...so Obama's going to get destroyed in today's West Virginia primary. I realize that. A Hillary blowout won't surprise me. What has surprised me is the free expression of shameless racism and ignorance by some of Hillary's supporters in the media over the past day or so.

This clip on Gawker from West Virginia television shows an older white woman saying that she won't vote for Obama because "he's a Muslim and that has a lot to do with it". When the reporter points out that he's a Christian, she flat out refuses to believe it.

From a story in the Financial Times this weekend:

“I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife’s an atheist,” said Mr Simpson, drawing on a cigarette outside the fire station in Williamson, a coal mining town of 3,400 people surrounded by lush wooded hillsides.

Stephen Colbert has been jokingly referring to Obama as a "secret Muslim terrorist" for weeks...but it's getting less funny as I realize that people really believe it. Many pundits and political journalists assumed that the only upside to the Rev. Wright controversy is that it would put to rest the "Obama is a Muslim" urban legend.

The Washington Post today reports on the open racism that has been directed towards Obama volunteers. One woman told an Obama volunteer, "He's a half-breed and he's a Muslim. How can you trust that?".

My initial reaction would be to shrug these people off as people that don't vote Democratic anyway...but many of these folks are Hillary supporters. I'm betting that someone that refers to Obama as a "half-breed" is probably not going to back him when Hillary fails to get the nomination.

Is this generational? The exit polls have shown time and time again that the older you are, the more likely you are to have difficulty voting for an African-American. Does progress in America only come as those generations unwilling to yield die off? Is it related to education? West Virginia ranks dead last in the nation for percentage of adults with a college education. Income? Again, West Virginia is at the bottom. As I heard one political commentator say this weekend, "I'm not sure why Hillary thinks it's a selling point that she attracts the least educated voters."

Or am I just the height of elitism, looking for some formula to explain away people that think differently than myself?

I believe that Obama will win the presidency. A recent Washington Times poll has Obama several points ahead of McCain...and, theoretically, this should be McCain's peak time. He's faced no real "softening" from Obama or the DNC yet. What I wonder is...will 4 years of an Obama presidency resolve a little of this ignorance? Will some of these folks look back in the year 2012 and say, "You know...he DIDN'T invite Osama Bin Laden to the White House for tea. Maybe he's not a secret Muslim terrorist after all." Or am I simply overly optimistic?

Basic Biology

2008-05-12T09:44:00.001-05:00

My Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture desktop calendar recently asked me the following question: What film was hyped with the line: "When the son of a hundred maniacs...meets an unstoppable killing machine...no one will survive"?

The answer is Freddy Vs. Jason.

The "son of a hundred maniacs" line refers to Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy...and reading that description of him jarred a vague memory of Freddy's origins. If I remember correctly, the story is that Freddy's mother was maybe working at an insane asylum? Or just visiting? Passing through? Not important. Anyway, somehow the inmates escaped or got to her in some way and she was raped by a large group of them, hence the idea that Freddy is the "son of a hundred maniacs". But this really just goes against basic biology. Even when I first saw that movie at age 12ish, I can remember thinking..."yeah, but only one sperm actually fertilized the egg, right?".

Wait...I was kind of lame, wasn't I?

Coolest Celebrity Endorsement Ever

2008-05-10T16:29:00.002-05:00

This is the best celebrity endorsement I've ever seen. The whole idea of celebrity endorsements is a little silly...and Tom addresses the ridiculousness of it from the start. But then he makes an intelligent, rational and earnest statement that I happen to agree with 100%.

I'm Back! And...where the hell have I been?

2008-05-09T17:10:00.000-05:00

After an extended absence, I'm back and hopefully able to do some more blogging.

So what's kept me away? Well, several things converging at once.

First, I was preparing for and traveling to a concert that I was involved in. Also, due to some other circumstances that are connected to that show, I have been going through the necessary steps to start a small business. That means meeting with a lawyer and an accountant, applying for an Iowa sales tax permit, becoming incorporated, writing up and revising a contract, etc... It's been extraordinarily stressful but I find that I can always find just a little more gas in the tank to burn when I'm working on something that's my OWN. Hey...a business owner...do I have to become a republican now? Naaaaah.

How much of my time has it taken? Well...I'll give you three pieces of evidence. Exhibit A: There are two episodes of 30 Rock on my DVR. Exhibit B: I've had the same two Netflix movies on top of my TV for close to three weeks. Exhibit C: I haven't touched Guitar Hero* for over TWO WEEKS!

I know. Sad, really.

On top of all of this activity, I've not had much bloggy material at my disposal. I've been so completely obsessed about the Obama/Hillary race that if I were to write what's on my mind, this blog would become a full-time political blog, and there are so many great political blogs out there, I could never compete.

But now, I'm hoping to get back to regular life. Out to dinner with friends tonight, two chilly and windy soccer games to watch tomorrow, and then Mother's day activities.

*Quick side-story about Guitar Hero. As you may know, I'm desperately waiting for Guitar Hero: Aerosmith's release. Up until now, Activision has been really slippery and coy about the release date, saying only "June 2008". This last Sunday's Best Buy ad finally had a date: June 29, 2008. WHAT? They almost could NOT release this game any later and still keep their promise. Not cool.

Where in the World is Matt Sandiego?

2008-04-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to point out that I am, in fact, still drawing breath. I've got a lot going on right now and once I get through this weekend I will resume posting!

-Matt

Subliminal or Obvious?

2008-04-23T12:47:00.001-05:00

Funniest story I've seen in a while. The UK Office of Government Commerce needed a new logo. They hired a branding agency, and they got this:

Not bad, right?

Well, then they looked at it, turned on its side:

If it's not funny to you, look at it a bit longer.

According to Comment Central (the blog I saw this story on), they are sticking with the logo. They explained:

We concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters 'OGC' - and is not inappropriate to an organisation that's looking to have a firm grip on government spend.

Fantasy to "Reality": Hits and Misses

2008-04-20T17:33:00.000-05:00

When one of your favorite fictional characters from childhood makes the move to a live action feature film, it's a bittersweet moment. Of course, it's exciting to get a chance to see one of these characters realized in the flesh. However, it rarely works out. Many of the movie manifestations of these heroes and villains are highly disappointing. Here's a quick run down of some of the hits and misses.

The Hits

Spider Man

Todd McFarlane had an enormously successful run as the artist of Spider Man in the late 1980s and early 1990s. His version of the character was a more lithe and agile Spidey that had a more "spidery" feel. This look was captured perfectly by the three Spider Man films.

Batman ("Batman Begins" version)

Batman is a dark, tragic figure. A "hero" fueled by the untimely loss of his parents and a desire for revenge. Batman has no powers, and part of the rationale of his costume is to strike fear into the hearts of criminals. Successful artists of the Batman comics over the years used plenty of shadow. Despite the fact that the movie version of Batman lost the blue and gray in favor of an all black batsuit, the Batman Begins version of Batman is spot on.

Iron Man

What is there to even say about this one? From what we've seen in the trailers, the new Robert Downy-inhabited Iron Man suit is a dead ringer for the armor that we've seen in the comics for years. I'm really looking forward to this one.

Honorable Mentions: Superman (both Reeves and Routh), Dr. Octopus (Spider Man 2), Venom (Spider Man 3)

The Misses

The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk is supposed to be an enormous, larger than life, destructive physical manifestation of rage. However, the unconvincing CGI creation for the 2003 film (sarcastically called "Gumby" by irritated fans) looked less rage filled, and more like the Hulk was grappling with a particularly tricky long division problem.

Snake Eyes

I've written about Snake Eyes in an earlier post, but to summarize: he's the ultimate bad ass. A mute ninja AND commando who also has a wolf as a pet. WHAT? I know. Awesome. Unfortunately, in the new photo released from the set of the upcoming GI Joe movie, Snake Eyes appears to be encased in some sort of vinyl fetishist's evening wear.

Wolverine

The Wolverine of the comic world is a hot-tempered, animalistic maniac. He wears a yellow and blue costume and has very odd hair. For the X-Men films, they wisely scrapped the brightly colored costume...but inexplicably kept the ridiculous hair. Visually, it doesn't work.

Dishonorable Mentions: The Punisher, Batman (of the Joel Schumacher variety - the costumes had nipples, people!), Daredevil, The Thing (from the Fantastic Four movie).

Baracky

2008-04-18T12:46:00.000-05:00

Making it's way around the internet today. I love it.

10 Terrible Hulk Toys

2008-04-17T17:15:00.002-05:00

The web site Topless Robot has just put together a list of the "10 Most Incredibly Lame Hulk Toys". It's really hard to disagree about the "incredibly lame" characterization, but I have to admit, I would've loved ALL of these toys as a child.

Looking through the list, I'm surprised by two things. First, not only did I not own any of these Hulk toys, but I don't even remember a single item on this list. I may have been just slightly too young for many of these. A few of the images indicate that at least some of these toys were produced in 1979, when I was four years old. Secondly, there actually IS one item in that blog post that I owned, but it's not one of the Hulk toys. Rather, it's the Spider Man ski mask that is pictured along side the horrible Hulk mask. Not only did I have it as a kid...but I think I still have it today. I think I have pictures of one of my daughters wearing it.

I highly recommend reading that entry, not only to look at the ridiculous, no-imagination toys that they were peddling to kids 30 years ago, but also because the commentary is hilarious. Consider this statement on the Hulk roller skates:

"To top it off, the extremely questionable Hulk faces on the skates don’t look particularly angry but more as if he farted at a dinner party."

Thanks to Dan for the link.

Tryin' For The Sun

2008-04-16T22:09:00.001-05:00

Man, I wish I could do this.

Great Quote

2008-04-15T08:34:00.001-05:00

Great quote from one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Sean Altman, about the release of his new CD, which is a comedic look at Jewish culture.

Have you gotten any flack for the CD? I wouldn't say flack. I think when people see the title "Jewmongous," [they know] it's not an Israeli folk troupe.

Misspeaking

2008-04-14T17:15:00.000-05:00

We've been hearing a lot of candidates backpedal over their lies and mistakes this time around by claiming to "misspeak". Hendrik Hertzberg, of the New Yorker, just wrote an article on the new prominence of that word, and how it's being used. He said:

Along with its various derivatives, 'misspeak' has become one of the signature verbal workhorses of this interminable political season, right up there with 'narrative,' 'Day One,' and 'hope.' It carries the suggestion that, while the politician's perfectly functioning brain has dispatched the correct signals, the mouth has somehow received and transmitted them in altered form. 'Misspeak' is a powerful word, a magical word. It is a word that is apparently thought capable, in its contemporary political usage, of isolating a palpable, possibly toxic untruth, sealing it up in an airtight bag, and disposing of it harmlessly.

This campaign season (like all campaign seasons) is an interesting study in language, and particularly in the linguistic tricks that politicians and political parties use to frame issues to their own advantage. Typically, whoever wins the language battle wins the war. Just look at the way that parties have used language to define the following:

-Death Tax versus Estate Tax
-Pro Life versus Pro Choice
-Personal Accounts versus Private Accounts

Traditionally, the conservative movement has been more effective at using language to frame their positions on policy. They've effectively smeared the words "liberal," "environmentalist," and "feminist"...all positive words at their core. George Lakoff is an author and a linguistics expert who's written several books on the relationship between politics and language. He's a fascinating guy. In an interview with UC Berkeley News, Lakoff was asked: Why do conservatives like to use the phrase "liberal elite" as an epithet? His response:

Conservatives have branded liberals, and the liberals let them get away with it: the "liberal elite," the "latte liberals," the "limousine liberals." The funny thing is that conservatives are the elite. The whole idea of conservative doctrine is that some people are better than others, that some people deserve more. To conservatives, if you're poor it's because you deserve it, you're not disciplined enough to get ahead. Conservative doctrine requires that there be an elite: the people who thrive in the free market have more money, and they should. Progressives say, "No, that's not fair. Maybe some should have more money, but no one should live in poverty. Everybody who works deserves to have a reasonable standard of living for their work." These are ideas that are progressive or liberal ideas, and progressives aren't getting them out there enough.

What progressives are promoting is not elite at all. Progressives ought to be talking about the conservative elite. They shouldn't be complaining about "tax cuts for the rich," they should be complaining about "tax cuts for the conservative elite," because that's who's getting them.

The Seven Cardinal Sins of CDs

2008-04-11T17:21:00.001-05:00

As a child of the 80s, I still think of music as a tangible, physical product. It makes me uneasy to purchase an album from iTunes, which is admittedly ridiculous because the first thing I do when I buy a new CD is dump it into iTunes and then shelve it. Still, there's a sense of calming security I get from knowing that the CD is sitting there on the shelf if I should ever need it. I'm also a sucker for good packaging. These are things you miss out on when you buy digital versions of albums.

I've purchased an unusual number of CDs in the last month or so. My average CD acquisition rate (CDAR, to you) is probably something like 10-12 albums per year. However, due to a rare convergence of releases by some of my favorite artists this spring, I've been on a music buying spree. I've noticed with these purchases that the approaches that these artists and labels take to packaging their CDs vary wildly. Because of this, I've compiled a list of the Seven Cardinal Sins of CD Packaging. These will be listed from the least offensive to the most offensive.

#7: Hidden Tracks That Aren't Separate Tracks
If you're a band and want to get cute by including a hidden track, that's fine. But PLEASE make it a separate track. If you're programming some songs on the CD player or making a compilation CD, that track must be avoided completely, because nobody wants a song to end with a minute and a half of silence before including a random hidden track.

#6: No Artist or CD Title on the Actual CD
When you're carrying your CDs in a giant CD wallet, it's nice to know at a glance what CD it is you're looking for. A surprising number of CDs have only some pseudo-impressive design or photo on them.

#5: No Numbers Next to the Song Titles
Look, I'm perfectly capable of counting to 15, but when I'm standing in front of the stereo programming some tunes, I don't want to have to use my finger to count through a list of tracks because I'm unable to eyeball it. Is that track 9 or 10? Just NUMBER THEM.

#4: No Punctuation, Formatting, or Capitalization in the Lyrics
I appreciate the inclusion of lyrics, and I'm sympathetic to the desire to save space, but lyrics that are dumped out in a shapeless paragraph with no sentences or capitalization are really hard to read. Especially when you're driving. Not that I would do that. Very often.
(lesser but related sin: lyrics that are meant to look "hand written")

#3: CD Jackets That are Folded Rather Than Booklet Style
Thankfully this is a rare occurrence, but I have at least a couple of CDs that have jackets that must be unfolded like a map if you'd like to read the lyrics. This is inconvenient and really conspicuous when driving. Not that I would do that. It's just unsafe.

#2: CD Covers That Don't Have Track Listings
What do these bands have against fans knowing what their songs are called? Wouldn't they want a potential CD buyer in a store to know what's on the album? Fortunately, like sin #3, this is rare. Make no mistake, though, it does happen. Just take a look at the back of your copy of Stone Temple Pilots' "Purple" album.

#1: No Lyrics
After all of the time and effort it takes to write an entire album's lyrics, don't they want us to know what they are? This sin is unforgivable. It's an extra slap in the face when the CD includes a very elaborate full-color jacket, filled with photos and 3 pages of 'thank yous'...and not a single lyric.

There you have it. The definitive list of what not to do when producing a CD. Did I miss any?

Unintentional Hilarity

2008-04-10T16:06:00.001-05:00

What follows is an actual quote spoken in a meeting today. The meeting was about application testing, and the logistics of getting test subjects in place.

"Well, the testees need to know they're being observed."

Gunslingin' in 30 Minutes or Less

2008-04-09T12:10:00.000-05:00

There's been quite a buzz in Des Moines lately about James Spiers, a local pizza delivery man who was the victim of an attempted robbery a couple of weeks ago while he attempted to deliver a pizza. What makes this story different from your average everyday crime report is that, unbeknownst to the would-be robber holding the gun to the poor pizza man's head, James was packing heat of his own.

He shot the robber, sending him to the hospital with multiple gunshot wounds, and instantly became a local celebrity. The twist? Pizza Hut has a strict policy against its drivers carrying weapons. They are bound by policy to suspend or fire James...but they are stuck in a bit of a PR pickle. Their policy is clear, but the community loves James and his vigilante ways.

This story has provided me with much entertainment for the following reasons:

The man's name is basically Jamie Spears. Will someone PLEASE acknowledge this?
Our local paper's web site allows people to comment on stories. I'm sure you've guessed that this encourages thoughtful, well-written prose. Actually, it's exploded into a giant ideological fight about gun rights. Read the comments below the story if you'd like a taste.
A new website has popped up, to show support for James. The site's creator, who is remaining anonymous, starts his explanation regarding why he created the site with some class: "I believe in the right of law-abiding American citizens to bear arms. James was properly licensed to carry a weapon. He was trying to make a living and like anybody else, he has a right to be free from threats." The gravitas quickly drops off, however, as he adds: "Besides, I like pizza and if drivers quit delivering pizza because of armed thugs, we are going to have to go get the stuff and I don't want to do that."

Great Rock Song

2008-04-08T12:52:00.002-05:00

I got the new Raconteurs album yesterday, and their opening track, "Consoler of the Lonely" is one of the best new rock songs I've heard in ages. Here's how Rolling Stone described it: "...their styles merge completely on 'Consolers of the Lonely,' which doles out every possible exclamation point: explosive guitars, abrupt tempo changes, a floorboard-rumbling rhythm section and a climax where the whole band starts laughing."

Check it out. (link is good for 1 week)

Hilarity

2008-04-07T15:21:00.003-05:00

The New York Post surveyed several comedians and asked them for the best joke they'd written or heard in the last year, then they printed 50 of them.

Some of my favorites (and yes, some are offensive):

Roseanne
A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Lisa Lampanelli
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, "Family Jewels." Or as it's known in the business, " 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father."

Louis C.K.
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic took a dump.

Jim Florentine
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their stumps together.

Josh Comers
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick "Me Kick" signs on my back. Then everyone thought I was the bully - with bad grammar and the courtesy to give a heads up.

Good Lyrics

2008-04-07T10:21:00.002-05:00

Good lyrics I heard this morning:

"Maybe ethanol is methadone for oil addiction"
To Build a Mountain by The Matches

"You never got poked in the eye with a spork, you never got sick from all that leftover pork."
More Bad Times by The Presidents of the United States of America

Master of All He Surveys

2008-04-04T12:59:00.001-05:00

Thousands of words could be written on urinal etiquette, but I think I've just seen a first in my over 30 years of public bathroom use. You see (for the female readers), there are varying urinal stances that men take. Eyes are front or down (there's some aiming, after all), for example. Generally, conversation is forbidden or at least limited. But today I saw a man standing at the urinal with his arms crossed. Not only were his arms crossed, but his posture was tall and straight and sort of...dare I say...proud? His eyes were looking straight forward. Only chumps need their sense of sight when peeing, apparently. He reminded of me some ancient warlord standing on a high cliff, looking over some freshly conquered land, perhaps considering which of the dozens of local maidens to deflower.

Hands free! What confidence! What control! I would've expressed my amazement, but again, there's no talking at the urinal.

Choice Fatigue

2008-04-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

There's a concept that comes up once in a while in my work called "choice fatigue". I'm not exactly sure where it originated, but I think it's widely used in marketing. Essentially, it's the idea that humans enjoy choice and variety up to a point. Once you hit a certain number of choices, however, people are overwhelmed. They stop thinking clearly and are confused by so many options. This is what I have been experiencing for the past few days.

This last Christmas, I convinced my wife and my parents to go together and get me one of those mega 160 gig iPod Classics. It's awesome. I carry it with me pretty much wherever I go. Anyway, I finally have an iPod big enough to easily hold every track from every CD that I own, plus digital songs that I've purchased, plus audio and video podcasts, plus any movies or TV shows that I've transferred to it from my DVDs....and I still can't even fill half of it.

I listen to music quite a bit while I work. For the past several years, I've listened to perhaps 20 or 25 albums that I've got on my computer. Once in a while I'd buy a new CD and I'd add it to the collection, but I'd also frequently remove songs that I was no longer in the mood for. That was quite a bit of choice to manage, but it seemed to suit me fine. This week, however, I've started listening to my iPod while I work. I don't yet have every CD transferred to the iPod, but I already have 6470 songs at my fingertips. That is simply too many songs to handle. The idea of having my entire music collection at my fingertips is wonderful in theory, but in practice it makes me nervous and schizophrenic. I really enjoy listening to entire albums from top to bottom, but I find when I have literally HUNDREDS of other albums available, I get antsy and impatient. I spend the day skittering from album to album. A little Cake...then maybe one or two tracks from The Black Crowes. It's requiring more mental energy than I would've expected.

My brain, which enjoys order and routine, keeps trying to find some sort of systematic way to process this tangled mass of possibilities. I find myself thinking things like, "Maybe I should try to get through my entire CD collection...one album each day" or "just restrict yourself to one letter of the alphabet today". It must be some form of latent OCD trying desperately to push to the surface.

Great Quote

2008-04-03T12:30:00.003-05:00

From Dilbert creator Scott Adams, on things to watch out for when joining a cult:

The big problem with picking a doomsday date is that it so obvious when you are wrong. For most other decisions, you can generally make a case for why your wrongness was really right. For example, you still hear people say Saddam had WMD but he did a good job of hiding them...But when the world doesn’t explode on Tuesday, it’s hard to make a case that it did. You have to go with something like “The comet was heading this way, but we prayed it off course. You’re welcome. Give me back my stuff.

Good News/Bad News

2008-04-02T12:41:00.003-05:00

It's official. Scott Weiland is out of Velvet Revolver. I was lucky enough to catch VR back in January, but it's still disappointing that Velvet Revolver is now Scott-less. Yes, the band's name was cheesy, and it's true that the whole "supergroup" concept is a little tired, but I thought that they were providing a service that no other rock band is providing right now. Namely, some old fashioned, riff-driven nasty rock...but rock that still had some melody and groove (which are two things missing from most new rock bands, in my opinion).

What's the upside? Next week, Scott will be reuniting with Stone Temple Pilots and announcing a 50 date tour. STP was (is?) one of my favorite bands, and I thought my chance to see them live had passed. Obviously, Des Moines is not a hot spot for this kind of thing, so I may have to catch them in Kansas City or Minneapolis...but a date in Des Moines at the Val Air Ballroom would be amazing. Here's hoping.

A less exciting reunion happening now? New Kids on the Block.

"Oh my God, I am the winner"

2008-03-30T12:06:00.003-05:00

The title of this post (a quote from the American cinematic classic, Billy Madison) was my wife's idea and is referring to the fact that I came in 1st in yesterday's "Guitar Hero III - Frets of Fury" tournament. Yes, that's right. I am officially a rock god. Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to divulge that I didn't have the guts to enter into the "expert" tournament. After witnessing some of those experts warming up, I knew that at least a few of them would destroy me. So, I entered the "hard" tournament.

This is how it worked: there were four simultaneous tournaments going on, one for each difficulty level (easy, medium, hard, and expert). The tournaments were bracket style, so you were matched up against one other person and as you won matches you moved up the bracket. When called for a competition, each player picked a song that they felt they were strong in. Then, the pair played through both songs. If one person won both songs, they were declared the winner of that challenge. If the score was split, then each person picked a second song that they felt good about. A coin was flipped, and then the winner's song was used for a battle mode. The winner of the battle mode won the match and advanced up the bracket.

I had a rough start and thought that I was going to be eliminated right away. I chose my song, ZZ Top's "La Grange," and was handily beat. It's bad times if you get beat on the song you picked for yourself. But then my opponent picked Poison's "Talk Dirty To Me" and I really nailed that one...I had a 412 note streak...and I never lost again for the rest of the tournament. What did I win? Fortune and glory. But more specifically I won fifty dollars, a Guitar Hero tee shirt, some various GH stuff, and a PS2 game. Not bad! The guy who won second place in the hard tournament (his name was Chad) won some money and prizes, too. As we were collecting our prizes, he looked over at mine and was a bit puzzled by one of the prizes. He said, "What's that?". It was still in the plastic so I opened it up and said, "Huh...it's a Guitar Hero wristband." He looked at me and said, "Well, now you can throw away all of your other wristbands."

In other Guitar Hero news, the official trailer for Guitar Hero: Aerosmith has been released. It looks amazing, and I repeat my assertion that I will need to rent an apartment for at least 1-2 months following its release in June so that I can devote the appropriate amount of time to it. It's been revealed that only about 60 percent of the songs will be Aerosmith tunes, which is discouraging, but expected, since they would like the game to appeal to non-Aerosmith fans as well. However, they've leaked a few of the Aerosmith songs that will be included and I'm encouraged that they're including some really obscure fan favorites like "Make It" and "Uncle Salty".

No Guts No Glory

2008-03-28T17:04:00.001-05:00

I've just learned that there is a Guitar Hero Tournament in my town tomorrow. Cash prizes! Live radio broadcast! I must enter.

What's that you ask? I'm 33, why?

There will be four simultaneous competitions, one for each difficulty level. I think I will enter the Hard tourney. I'm afraid that some 9 year old would school me if I enter the Expert one.

Wish me luck. Tomorrow I learn that I'm not nearly as good as I think I am.

Homer Lives!

2008-03-27T17:28:00.000-05:00

Pixeloo is a blog maintained by a professional Photoshopper. This guy or girl (the blog is anonymous) has recently been using real world textures to create images of what famous animated characters would look like in the real world. The effect is creepy.

Check out Homer:

And Mario:

Cool.

Iowa Rocks!

2008-03-26T17:35:00.000-05:00

Hey! If you're one of those snooty big city folks that thinks that Iowa is behind the times, I'm about to set you straight. The first two acts playing at the Iowa State Fair in 2008 have just been announced. Be prepared to have your holier-than-thou elitism shattered. Coming to Des Moines this summer is none other than Michael W. Smith and Garrison Keillor (as part of his "A Prairie Home Companion, The Rhubarb Tour" production).

So why is Iowa hemorrhaging young people? Your guess is as good as mine.

Pop Culture Observation

2008-03-26T17:20:00.000-05:00

Apparently, if Timbaland produces your album or song, his primary contribution is throwing in a "hey" or a "what" in a normal speaking voice approximately every 4 to 6 seconds.

Lindsey Time

2008-03-25T12:15:00.002-05:00

Today is the release date of "Live at the Bass Performing Hall", a new DVD and CD release by my favorite singer/songwriter, Lindsey Buckingham. As I may have mentioned earlier, I think it's a reasonable assumption that Lindsey timed this released with my birthday (which was yesterday).

My sister ordered this for me, and it hasn't arrived yet, which means that I've yet to see it. However, according to what I'd like to call the "Maxim Precedent", people are now allowed to review things they've never seen or heard. Therefore, my "educated guess" about this DVD is that it's amazing. Don't just blindly accept my presumption of awesomeness, though. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram says:

"Watching Lindsey Buckingham's first solo concert DVD, Live at the Bass Performance Hall, you reach the conclusion that the essence of his former band Fleetwood Mac was not Stevie Nicks' witchy-woman stylings, Christine McVie's blues-tinged singing, or even the granite back-beat of drummer, Mick Fleetwood and bassist, John McVie, but Buckingham's pioneering guitar work."

I saw him on this tour, at the Val Air Ballroom here in Des Moines, and was able to get within a few feet of the stage. It's important to see Lindsey up close, because his guitar playing is something to behold. He's self-taught, the result of which is an odd mixture of old-fashioned banjo picking and a violent downward slashing of the strings. Back to the Star-Telegram:

"Whether on a nylon-string classical guitar, a steel-string acoustic or his trademark acoustic-electric guitar, Buckingham eschews the standard pick in favor of all five fingers of his right hand. There are close-ups of Buckingham's hands as they nimbly perform his distinctive guitar calisthenics."

Beyond the technical proficiency, though, is the songwriting. It was Lindsey's songwriting that won his third solo album, Out Of The Cradle, the coveted #1 spot on "Matt Keller's Five Favorite Albums of All Time" list. I also admire his willingness to place art over commerce, even if it means that we have less Lindsey material to purchase. After the enormous commercial success of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours, Lindsey rebelled against the idea of creating a "Rumours 2" and instead retreated to his own studios (and in some cases, hotel rooms with his recording equipment) where he created some brilliant and extremely odd pieces that showed up on the Tusk album. That album was considered a commercial disappointment, but is now looked back on with critical praise.

This has been a long, rambling post but here's the summary: Lindsey is good. I'll shut up now, and post a video from Lindsey's last solo album, Under the Skin. Lindsey recorded the bulk of this album himself, again in hotel rooms, while on the Fleetwood Mac "Say You Will" tour. This song, "It Was You" is a good demonstration of Lindsey's unusual instrumentation and his gift for melody.

I'll Bet That's a Sassy Manicure

2008-03-24T17:10:00.000-05:00

This is a transcription of an actual conversation between two women ahead of me in the microwave line today.

Woman 1: ...so then mom and I got manicures.
Woman 2: Where do you go for that?
Woman 1: The strip club in front of Target.
Woman 2: The strip club?
Woman 1: Yeah, you know. In front of Target.
Woman 2: The strip club?
Woman 1: (stares blankly)
Woman 2: Strip...CLUB?
Woman 1: OHMYGOD! MALL, Strip mall!

Then they proceeded to giggle for approximately twelve minutes.

If you work in a gray corporate setting, this is hilarious.

Laughing Kid

2008-03-24T10:21:00.002-05:00

Man, when did this blog get so schmaltzy? Anyway, I found this funny:

Damn Wienerkids

2008-03-20T14:40:00.000-05:00

The other day my wife had The Biggest Loser on and I overheard the phrase "morbidly obese". This got me laughing because it reminded me of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes*. Homer is about to play a game of pool with Ned Flanders and he says, "They don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese."

There was nothing particularly unique about that moment. Several times a week I hear, read, or see something that reminds me of a Simpsons quote. However, just a couple of days later I was doing a little hard drive cleanup and I found a sound clip of my all time favorite Simpsons quote.

Have a listen.

"Damn Wienerkids" is just inspired.

*I know. It's shocking that someone who has a blog has favorite Simpsons quotes.

Get To Know Your Future Spouse

2008-03-19T17:31:00.000-05:00

Today I came across an article about a book called "Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This!" by Corey Donaldson. The book is essentially a list of 500 questions that you and your future spouse should ask each other prior to taking the plunge.

I've been married for over 10 years to someone that I essentially started dating in high school. I consider myself someone who has changed enormously since then, and I think it's extremely fortunate that Anne and I have mostly evolved and grown in the same direction. Because I was married young (22) and consider my marriage to be in good shape, the idea of me seriously asking these questions at that age cracks me up. I have difficulty imagining how one would work these questions into casual conversation with someone you were dating.

"So...you like summertime? I love summer. I know, right? It's nice to be able to just go outside without a jacket. Oh, that reminds me. If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?"

Other recommended questions:

What does monogamy mean to you?
Have you ever thought that you should marry me because if you don't, no one else will come along, and you will be lonely for the rest of your life?
What does my family do that annoys you?
What are all your current debts?
Are your feelings for me dependent on my always having money?

It Feels Good To Believe In Someone

2008-03-18T12:30:00.003-05:00

I've made a conscious effort to keep the amount of political posts to a minimum in this blog. Politics tends to divide and to drive people away. Most Americans are uncomfortable talking about either politics or religion. However, I'm an absolute politics nut. I drink it in. I consume all of the news that I can, and Barack Obama's speech today on race and politics was an absolute masterpiece. A speech for the history books.

My only nervous question, and the question I've seen on a few political sites is this: What is the take-away? The speech was so nuanced, so devoid of sound bites, that it might actually be too sophisticated for most media outlets these days. For people that don't pay attention to politics, or whose only knowledge is what they overhear in a 45-second story on the evening news, will this speech matter? Is there still room for high-minded, thoughtful, brave, and honest speech in this country that isn't packaged as a slogan?

I'd encourage you to read the speech.

Better yet, watch it:

Today, I am filled with American pride, and with pride that my state was the first to hold up Obama and say, "This is our candidate."

Here is some of the analysis offered by my favorite political reporters/commentators:

Andrew Sullivan, conservative writer for "The Atlantic":

Alas, I cannot give a more considered response right now as I have to get on the road. But I do want to say that this searing, nuanced, gut-wrenching, loyal, and deeply, deeply Christian speech is the most honest speech on race in America in my adult lifetime. It is a speech we have all been waiting for for a generation. Its ability to embrace both the legitimate fears and resentments of whites and the understandable anger and dashed hopes of many blacks was, in my view, unique in recent American history.

And it was a reflection of faith - deep, hopeful, transcending faith in the promises of the Gospels. And it was about America - its unique promise, its historic purpose, and our duty to take up the burden to perfect this union - today, in our time, in our way.

I have never felt more convinced that this man's candidacy - not this man, his candidacy - and what he can bring us to achieve - is an historic opportunity. This was a testing; and he did not merely pass it by uttering safe bromides. He addressed the intimate, painful love he has for an imperfect and sometimes embittered man. And how that love enables him to see that man's faults and pain as well as his promise. This is what my faith is about. It is what the Gospels are about. This is a candidate who does not merely speak as a Christian. He acts like a Christian.

Bill Clinton once said that everything bad in America can be rectified by what is good in America. He was right - and Obama takes that to a new level. And does it with the deepest darkest wound in this country's history.

I love this country. I don't remember loving it or hoping more from it than today.

David Kurtz, Talking Points Memo:

It is remarkable for its nuance, for its long view of history, and for its decency.

Chris Durang, The Huffington Post:

I thought Barack Obama's speech, which finished just minutes ago, was brilliant, nuanced, healing and shows him to be incredibly worthy as a candidate. I hope America is interested enough in progress to embrace this man. We would be lucky, very lucky, to have him as a president.

His speech was brave, and touched on the minister and race in general with real wisdom, and hope for healing.

Jeffrey Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere:

Sen. Barack Obama didn't just hit an oratorical home run a little while ago in Philadelphia. He hit the ball above the bleachers and into the electric scoreboard...bam. Sparks flew, people applauded, the news commentators were awed. It was a brilliant, historic, uncommonly frank speech about racial divides and attitudes, and what might be different. He said all the necessary things about the excessive hate steam of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and particularly the choice between adhering to old habits and resentments and choosing to move beyond all the crap. It was personal, straight, profound and clear as a bell.

And here's some blog commentary by regular folks:

"This is what is so refreshing about Obama - he is a genuine thinker in the tradition of important historical figures more than he is a bureaucrat. His great challenge as an innovative political thinker is overcoming the culture and identity issues which have disabled progressive politics for the past thirty years."

"I cannot remember the last time a politician spoke to me as an adult, not as a child."

"It's not like I needed any additional evidence that Obama is the most remarkable candidate for president in the past 40 years, perhaps in my entire lifetime, but this provides it.

The more power to him for not talking down to or underestimating the intelligence of the American people. The more power to him for speaking in nuance and shades of grey, rather than stark black and white (pardon the poor metaphor). The more power to him for being honest. The more power to him for not playing into the media's sound-bite, short-attention span culture.

If that's not good enough to win election, then, in my view, America's not a good enough country to deserve a extraordinary leader like him. But I certainly intend to do everything I can over the next eight months to see that our nation is led by someone as great as I'd like to believe our nation is."

"Politics as un-usual. Truly beautiful and poignant."

"Courageous. Whatever happens, I'm proud of Senator Obama. He makes me proud to be an American."

Glug, Glug

2008-03-17T12:14:00.003-05:00

So it's St. Patrick's Day. Yesterday it occurred to me that it's a little nuts that we have a holiday with Irish roots in which we all basically act out an ethnic stereotype. What's next, a Chinese holiday where we all do math?

The Latest Addition to the Family

2008-03-16T22:52:00.006-05:00

This is either Maizy or Maisy*...we're not quite sure how to spell that yet. She's 10 weeks old, and she's a Shih-Tzu. To say that my girls are excited about this new development would be akin to suggesting that tidal waves are damp.

She likes to burrow...she's great with the girls and just wants to snuggle. Which is pretty much all that Melanie did with her all day. I can't report much else yet...we've only had her barely over 24 hours.

Regarding the odd name: one of the girls' friends just got a dog (actually a half-sister to ours) and named it Daisy. The girls liked Maizy because it rhymes. We just don't know how to spell it yet. Maisy makes sense, because it's spelled like Daisy. However, I just IMDB'd Uncle Buck, and the little girl in that movie is spelled Maizy, so maybe that's how you spell it? We're perplexed.

Being a Parent Makes You Lame

2008-03-15T15:07:00.003-05:00

Last night I discovered that being a parent has made me lame. My evidence? I'm no longer able to judge movies objectively. The latest movie in question is "Martian Child", with John Cusack. Throughout the entire film, I was repeatedly aware of the parade of cliches that marched unashamedly right down the middle of the screen. It was also one of the more emotionally manipulative movies I've seen, not to mention the fact that it completely trivializes the nature of adoption and the tribulations of connecting with a damaged child. And yet, I loved it.

I'm also a fan of Jersey Girl, the film that nearly caused a revolt among Kevin Smith die-hards. The objective side of me, the side of me that was more in control before I reproduced, is completely aware of the formulaic nature of this movie. As with Martian Child, my eyes reflexively wanted to roll over and over again...but the mutated post-fatherhood lameness won out.

There's just something about the emotional connection that I have with my children that makes me an absolute sucker for movies that deal with small children bonding with fathers. In these cases, my sentimentalism is simply stronger than my reason or objective analysis...regardless of the facts. I wonder (danger...abrupt and controversial subject change) if religious fundamentalists experience the same sort of reality disconnect. When their brain detects something that refutes their own belief system, does their sentimentality take over?

Sweet, Sweet Justice

2008-03-13T10:10:00.001-05:00

Can we all agree that any teenage boy that video tapes himself lifting weights deserves this?

This Is Getting Ridiculous

2008-03-12T23:15:00.003-05:00

Seriously. At first, my jokes about 2008 being "the year of Matt" were said in fun. After seeing this Hulk trailer...I believe 2008 truly was tailor-made for me. I know it's only a trailer, but they have drastically improved on the look of the Hulk since the previous stinker of a movie. Even the tone seems more in line with the comic.

Watch the new Hulk trailer here.